Ralph Nader... in Hell.
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OH MY GOD. Did that really just happen? Did Sarah Palin really just make an appearance on Portland-based conservative nutcase Lars Larson’s radio show? That’s like, a Republican Jar Jar Binks making a cameo on the Tyra Banks show. Jeeeasus Christ, that was painful.

Here’s the choice transcript:

LARS: The amnesty proposal that was defeated in Congress โ€” in your view, was that amnesty for illegals and would you back amnesty for a path to citizenship, as the current president calls it?

SARAH PALIN: No, Iโ€™m not for amnesty. Letโ€™s ratchet this down quite simply to remember what weโ€™re referring to. Illegal aliens are called โ€œillegalโ€ for a reason. We need to secure our borders and I am not for amnesty. And there are humane ways to deal with the 11-13 million illegal aliens who are in our country right now, but if theyโ€™re not going to follow the rules, they need to get out.

LARS: You heard the story that Governor Huckabee signed the clemency that allowed this cop killer to be out of prisonโ€ฆ if you had the chance to talk to Huckabee about that decision that he madeโ€”that he now says, โ€œI had no way to see the futureโ€โ€” what would you say?

SP: Well, it was a bad decision, but my heart goes out to Huckabee. I feel bad for him to be in this position, but I feel even worse for the families in this situation. I feel bad for Huckabee, but this was a horrible decision that he made.

LARS: Did you give any pardons or clemency as Governor of Alaska?

SP: No, and most Alaskans know me well enough that I donโ€™t have a whole lot of mercy for the bad guys. Iโ€™m on the good guys’ side. Iโ€™m all about redemption, recovery and reform and all that but I will always err on the side of punishing even stricter, even harder of the bad guys.

LARS: When I said you would be on the show today, somebody said, ‘Is she in favor of offshore drilling?’ … You’re in favor of getting America’s oil out of the ground, where it’s on the land or in the ocean, right?

SP: Oh, hell yeah. God created it underfoot for our use, to make out world better and safer and more prosperous. I just hate what we are doing when we are importing energy supplies from foreign regimes that hate America when we have those supplies here. Alaska has hundreds of trillions of cubic feet of natural gas, we have billions of barrels of oil on and off-shore. The environmentalists who wonโ€™t let us to do it and Congress and Obama that will not let us tap these domestic resources, these are immoral steps that theyโ€™re taking to not allow us to rely domestically on our own resources.

And on the eighth day, God created Hummers, condemning the environmentalists to Hell for their immoral protests.

Ralph Nader... in Hell!!
  • Ralph Nader… in Hell!!

The Portland Mercury: We always err on the side of punishing even stricter, even harder of the bad guys.

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

10 replies on “Sarah Palin on the Lars Larson Show?!”

  1. “good guys”? “bad guys”? what, is she eight years old? Or is she just trying to appeal to a demographic with the collective intellectual capacity of an eight year old?

  2. Oh, and I saw Ralph Nader’s doppleganger out at a lounge on Thanksgiving, virtually identical except he had a rather magnificent ponytail.

  3. “what, is she eight years old? Or is she just trying to appeal to a demographic with the collective intellectual capacity of an eight year old?”

    Both.

  4. Sarah Palin’s words are plain and direct. Not a politition or politicaly correct. Thats why I like her. She is intelligent, has integrity, and gets things done for the people…..not to line her pocket. I bet she wouldn’t have sold out on the Health Reform Bill like the democrates did.

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