This weekend features one of the dumbest fucking holidays humanity has ever invented: National “Lie Straight to People’s Faces Like a Total Asshole Under the Mistaken Impression Saying April Fool’s When You’re Done Makes it Funny” Day.

We will not be celebrating that holiday.

Primarily because there’s way too much actual fun (and funny) stuff to be doing instead. For example, key members of Portland’s comedy community launching their own—highly impressive—podcast network! One of the city’s best improv troupes now comes with a side of pie! Ali Wong is still in town, and there’s a bunch of comedians, musicians, nerds, and comedy music nerds setting up shop at the Siren on Sunday. So the pros have the ha-has covered. So far as music goes, it’s not every weekend you have Regina Spektor, Andre Nickatina, Lila Downs, and José James commanding stages, and that’s not even getting into all of Westeros descending upon the Moda Center. Plus beer fests and cannabis conventions? It’s gonna be a pretty damn busy weekend. Hit the links below and load your plate accordingly.

Jump to: Friday | Saturday | Sunday

Friday, Mar 31

The Liberators: Pie Night!
For one night only, you can take in the delights of Portland’s premier improvisers the Liberators AND treat yourself to dessert! That’s right: Siren Theater HBIC Shelley McLendon and her cohort of professional goofballs will be doing what they do best—making you laugh until you cry—AND THERE WILL BE PIE! I just promise there isn’t a better way to spend an evening, unless you hate pie and happiness, I guess? MEGAN BURBANK
8 pm, Siren Theater, $10

Spring Scoot 23
Portland is a scooter town. And the 23rd annual Spring Scoot, organized by the Twist & Play Scooter Club, will bring hundreds of these fun-lovers together and hit the road for a weekend full of two-wheeled camaraderie. Besides going on group rides, the throng will visit various dive bars (like Chopsticks and Kenton Club), and meet up for an overnight stay at Edgefield. So get your (tiny) motors runnin’, and don’t miss any of the fun! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Various Locations, click here for more information

Ali Wong
Doing a stand-up special at 7.5 months pregnant got comedian Ali Wong a ton of attention last year, but the enormity of her stomach was nothing compared to all the gross, fantastic material literally making a baby injected into her set. The infant now purged, Wong’s finding herself in high demand. Two new shows had to be added to her Portland visit this week. So go! DIRK VANDERHART
7 pm, 9:30 pm, Newmark Theatre, $39.75-59.75

Andre Nickatina, Husalah, Cool Nutz, Anonymous, That Dude
As one of the few Bay Area artists to opt out of the region’s popular hyphy era in the late ’90s, Andre Nickatina cemented his persona as the consummate lone wolf and a bastion of independent music, throwing down a bevy of underground releases laced with tales of street bacchanalia. His rapid-fire wordplay lays out intensely cinematic cocaine scenarios in the most intelligent fashion, straddling the line between psychotic and charismatic with a street hustler’s ease. To see him connect with his rabid fan base live reveals that Nickatina’s absence on the charts hasn’t muddled the staying power of his material. I was lucky enough to witness a gloriously claustrophobic show where Nickatina and the late Mac Dre traded legendary sets in the spirit of grassroots Blackness. The true essence of hip-hop was indelibly palpable that night, and changed my life forever. CHRIS SUTTON
8 pm, Roseland, $25

Sunbathe, Sinless, Mere Mention
Maggie May Morris has a catchy-as-hell name to go along with her natural ability to write a catchy-as-hell song. While you may be familiar with Morris from her position at the helm of Genders, you might not be aware that her solo efforts are as just as mesmerizing. With her current project, Sunbathe, Morris reminds us that catchy doesn’t always have to be equal to sunny or saccharine. She’s got the distinct ability to write a song so devastating you’ll flop to the floor while listening, but also so warm and familiar that you’ll find yourself attempting to hum along even before you’ve finished indulging in it for the first time. JENNA FLETCHER
8 pm, Turn! Turn! Turn!

DS-13, Macho Boys, Cliterati, Sucklords
The tumult is blaring from just about every corner of the US right now. During such helter-skelter times, there’s absolutely nothing more important than protest, free speech, art, or some combination of these. Enter the explosive hardcore of Portland’s own Cliterati. Last year the band released Cliterati, a clenched fist of an EP featuring five songs that challenge the ideologies of the current administration and speak to the rights of the marginalized. Furiously blazing for just under 10 minutes, the EP swells with buzzsaw riffs and D-beat rhythms cranked out at breakneck speeds. Match Cliterati’s unbridled instrumentation with the intense screams and political fervor of vocalist Ami Lawless, and the result will inspire you to smash your soapbox and take your message to the streets. Or, as the band puts it, “Get your clit in the pit.” ARIS HUNTER WALES
9 pm, Black Water Bar, $8

Bianca Bosker
Food writer and technology journalist Bianca Bosker reads from Cork Dork, her deep-dive into the strange world master sommeliers.
7:30 pm, Powell’s City of Books, free

José James, Nate Smith, Corey King
It must be frustrating to be a José James fan. After debuting in 2008 as a buttery voiced, smooth jazz crooner, James reinvented himself two years later as a jazzed-up R&B singer. In 2013 James released his masterpiece No Beginning No End, which sounded like it could be D’Angelo’s lost Voodoo outtakes. But then he dropped the uneven, Hendrix-riffing While You Were Sleeping in 2014, followed a year later by a touching yet conventional tribute to Billie Holiday. With his latest album, February’s Love in a Time of Madness, James has reinvented himself once again, as a sexed-up contemporary R&B singer. MIDI drums and synths have largely replaced live instruments, and mellow grooves exist alongside uptown funk. Whether Love in a Time of Madness will bring James his elusive mainstream success remains to be seen, but here’s hoping he doesn’t lose his longtime fans in the process. SANTI ELIJAH HOLLEY
9 pm, Doug Fir, $16-18

Portland Farmhouse & Wild Ale Festival
The fifth annual brewfest dedicated to shining a spotlight on the Northwest’s finest wild and rustic ales in styles from France and Belgium, with participating breweries including The Commons, Upright, Alesong, pFriem, De Garde and many more. Admission includes collectible glass and 10 drink tickets, and VIP tickets include access to a special preview night on Friday, March 31.
4 pm, Saraveza, $25-35

Propaganda Party
Politically-engaged artist collective, Justseeds, has partnered with Flight 64 and First 100 Days PDX to host the first of many free, community art distribution events poignantly titled Propaganda Party! Pick up works of resistance donated by local artists in the form of linocuts, zines, posters, screen-printed images, and more and bring your own creations to share. Themes for this event are centered on immigration and refugee rights. EMILLY PRADO
6 pm, Flight 64 Printmaking Studio, free

Psycho
Of all the things this Hitchcock classic is often championed for—its score, its cinematography, its fucking perfect sense of pacing—maybe the most notable achievement is how completely it manipulates an audience’s empathy. Steven Spielberg is often considered one of cinema’s master magicians, but even he wouldn’t be so bold as to hinge an entire movie’s success on his ability to not only put you in a matricidal, murdering peeper’s shoes, but convince you to put those shoes on yourself without even thinking twice about it. Hitchcock has made better films, but never any as sneaky as Psycho.
7:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre

School Dance
Action/Adventure Theatre’s youthful, charming productions are a true delight for a jaded theater critic, but their serialized format can be a nonstarter for the lazy. Well, I have good news! The company’s latest show, School Dance, is 70 minutes of one-off glee, and the constraints of that brief runtime seem to compress everything good about a typical Action/Adventure show into a neat arc of adolescent joy and despair. As the company’s “first foray into creating work for both adults and teenagers,” it more than holds together. And as a play about (SURPRISE!) a school dance, and uncool kids who feel invisible, it’s sensitive and relatable. It’s also full of jaunty performances: Noelle Eaton shows some real comedic chops; and Pat Moran, Samson Syharath, and Jon Gennari make for a scrappy, likeable trio of nerds. I can tell you that as a grown-ass lady who subscribes to Teen Vogue, I didn’t get bored once. And the tech-savvy young people next to me seemed entertained too. What a time to be alive. MEGAN BURBANK
8 pm, Action/Adventure Theater, $10-18

The Slants, The Shrike, Kill Frankie
A lot of bands out there are trying to imitate and incorporate that synth-fueled dance rock sound the ’80s specialized in, but Portland’s own Slants are one of the few that really have it dialed in.
9 pm, The Analog Cafe and Little Theater, $10

Saturday, Apr 1

Fleetmac Wood: Rumours Rave
Rumours is not the most danceable Fleetwood Mac album (what’s up, Tango in the Night; not so fast, The Dance!), but tonight the Fleetmac Wood roving rave troupe are celebrating the blockbuster 1977 album’s 40th anniversary with their recurring dance party, remixing all your favorite Rumours chestnuts for body-moving on the dance floor. Yes, your witchiest Stevie Nicks attire is most appropriate. NED LANNAMANN
10 pm, Holocene, $10

Stay Wild Spring Release Party
Not just an outdoorsy soireé celebrating the newest issue of Stay Wild but also the magazine’s fourth anniversary, with free copies of the issue available, as well as drinks, snacks, and live Cuban music.
6 pm, COSUBE, free

Global Based
It’s hard to imagine how Global Based, the monthly dance night that’s showcased Portland’s Black and Latinx talent since 2015, could get any better. But the bar has been officially raised with April’s lineup, which consists entirely of women-identifying performers. Florida-based DJ and producer Ma-LESS will headline and spread the wealth of her fuego combination of EDM blended with the sounds of her Jamaican and Panamanian upbringing. She’ll be supported by local favorites Casual Aztec, B2B, (Mercury music writer) Daniela Karina, and DJ Suavecito. Partygoers will also be treated to live art in the club by Latinx creatives Yuriko Zubia, Jontajshae Smith, and Frida Gamez. It’s officially hip to show up on time, as attendees arriving before 11 pm will be bestowed with free gooey quesadillas and salsa, all lovingly homemade by event organizer Adan “Heysus” Torralba’s very own Tia Magdalena. EMILLY PRADO
10 pm, The Whiskey Bar, $10

Tribe Mars, Rasheed Jamal, Sumalienz
Local jazz, soul, funk, and hip-hop fusion ensemble Tribe Mars headline a curated night of experimental beats and sounds at the Secret Society.
9 pm, Secret Society, $10

The Observers, The Spits, Clorox Girls, Bi-Marks
It’s easy to see why this show sold out. Not only does it happen to be another benefit to help everyone’s good bud Jonny Harbin (founder of Portland’s Jonnycat Records) pay his medical bills after his cancer diagnosis, but it’s also signaling some firsts, lasts, and once-agains for local legends. The Observers were born from a great punk act and later formed another (the Speds and Defect Defect, respectively), but there’s nothing quite like seeing the band in its truest form. They’re reuniting tonight for their first and only show since 2005, and will undoubtedly play some of the hits that influenced hardcore punks Bi-Marks (tonight is their last show ever), Clorox Girls (who still come together for a set every now and then), and the Spits (who never fail to bring a good time). Now’s your chance to celebrate reunions and farewells with some of Portland’s most legendary punk bands. CERVANTE POPE
8 pm, Tonic Lounge

Hophouse Ciderfest
An outdoor cider festival featuring a range of established and new cidermakers, with a highlight on local and regional ciders. Taste rare and yet-to-be released ciders from the likes of Runcible, Incline, New West, Pear Up, Tumalo, Portland Cider, Reverend Nat’s, Swift, Doc’s Draft, HiWheel Fizzy Wines, Red Tank, FinnRiver, Ace, 2 Towns, Schilling, Locust, Bull Run, Wildcraft, Farmhouse, Bauman’s, Woodbox, La Familia, Baird and Dewar Farmhouse, and more. This event takes place under a covered tent and will be held rain or shine.
noon, Hophouse (NE 15th), $20-25

Clean Bandit
An evening of dancey electropop with the acclaimed British music trio out of Cambridge consisting of Grace Chatto, Jack Patterson and Luke Patterson
9 pm, Roseland, $20, all ages

The Hemp & Cannabis Fair
The THC Fair sets up shop in Salem for a weekend’s worth of panel discussions, seminars, and an opportunity to peruse the wares and goods of many Northwest cannabis vendors and aficionados.
10 am, Oregon State Fairgrounds, $10-15

Fire the Fool
Take to the streets for a march against the Oompa Loompa in the Oval Office and call for his impeachment and/or resignation! Logistically, this would devolve into subsequent protests against would-be presidents Mike Pence, Paul Ryan, Orrin Hatch, et all, but in the words of my third fav teen flick, BRING IT ON. EMILLY PRADO
5 pm, Mark O. Hatfield Federal Courthouse, free

Oregon Symphony Gala 2017
The Symphony’s annual thank you to patrons and audience members, with contributions from Pacific Youth Choir and Dance West, with Carlos Kalmar leading the Symphony through performances of pieces by Aaron Copland, George Gershwin, and John Williams.
6 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, free w/ rsvp

Robert Randolph & the Family Band
Renowned pedal steel guitarist Robert Randolph and his backing band bring their uptempo brand of funk, soul, and gospel music to the Aladdin stage.
8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $25-27, all ages

Sunday, Apr 2

Regina Spektor
Soviet-born singer/songwriter Regina Spektor has made seven albums of wry pop songs that sparkle and smile, then take jagged left turns; her latest, Remember Us to Life, incorporates orchestral textures, which prove to be a perfect fit. Tonight Spektor plays some new tunes while also traveling through what’s shaping up to be a very impressive back catalog. NED LANNAMANN
8 pm, Keller Auditorium, $32.25-72.50

Rivercity Podcast Federation Launch Show
You’re reading an arts and culture-focused newsweekly, so I’m gonna go ahead and assume you have somewhere around 20 podcasts synced in your phone right now, and strong-armed at least one friend into subscribing to one of your stories, whether it’s a classic like Radiolab or a niche creepy-shit compilation like Sword and Scale. If my rude assumptions about you are correct, good news! Portland is chock-full of locally produced podcasts, and now we have our very own podcasting network. Move over, Gimlet! Take a hike, Feral Audio! Get lost, NPR affiliates! Rivercity Podcast Federation’s coming through! Created by Caitlin Weierhauser, Chris Khatami, Shane Hosea, and Randall Lawrence, Rivercity is home to such enthralling titles as JoAnn Schinderle’s Control Yourself; Sexual Awake ‘n’ Baking with Natalie Holt and Maddie Downes; Weierhauser’s Harry Potter-focused Room of Requirement 237, and tons more. At the network’s launch show, see four podcasts recorded live. Just like in your earbuds, it’s free—but you’ll be drinking among friends instead of doing chores alone! MEGAN BURBANK
6 pm, Alberta Street Pub, free

The Biggest Clothing Swap in the NW
Fact: Your closet is filled with nice but old stuff you don’t wear anymore. That’s why you should bag up your quality goods, and bring ‘em down to the Biggest Clothing Swap in the Northwest (organized by the Merc’s own Elizabeth Mollo and Cassie Ridgway). Around a thousand other people will be bringing in their clothing too, so you can rummage through and SWAP clothing and accessories for women, men, and plus-size people—with all leftover clothes going to local charities. Plus there will be music, mimosas, AND Bloody Marys? Prepare to look and feel fabulous! WSH
noon, Crystal Ballroom, $8-9

Nerd Music and Comedy Night: Molly Lewis, Joseph Scrimshaw, Lucia Fasano, Megathruster, Allie Goertz
Pretty much exactly what it says on the tin: A night full of quality music, stand-up, and even some storytelling, made for—and by—self-described nerds.
7 pm, Siren Theater, $10-20

Lila Downs
 Lila Downs will surely go down in history alongside the legendary Mexican folk performers who paved the way before her, like Chavela Vargas and Mercedes Sosa. Hailing from Oaxaca, Mexico (a state that holds over half of the country’s indigenous population), Downs is best known for blending native and traditional Ranchera-style songs with elements of modern pop music. Activism continues to drive her work, and she’s made a career of proudly proclaiming her Mixtec roots. Singing canciones in Spanish and several indigenous languages, she’s similarly inherited the outspoken qualities of her predecessors and uses her music to speak out against water privatization, border crossing deaths, and the isms that plague her native Mexico and beyond. Downs contributed several songs to the killer 2002 Frida soundtrack and her 2004 album, One Blood, earned her a Grammy award for the cringe-worthy but esteemed category of “Best Album of World Music.” Don’t miss out on the opportunity to catch Downs and her infamous, eccentric ensembles in the flesh. EMILLY PRADO
7:30 pm, Newmark Theatre, $39-69

Tinariwen, Dengue Fever
To fully understand the story of Tinariwen, you must also know the long history of the Tuareg, a nomadic desert tribe in northern Mali who were marginalized by their country’s government for decades. The members of Tinariwen have lived through two Tuareg uprisings, a period as refugee soldiers in Qaddafi’s Libyan army, and many years of obscurity and poverty as musicians. Tinariwen, however, have since gained a global ear and well-deserved acclaim for their unique music; they’ve become the figureheads of what is referred to as “assouf” music, a kind of Saharan, guitar-based blues that feels as rootless and free as the desert wind. Tinariwen founder Ibrahim Ag Alhabib built his first guitar out of a stick, a can, and a piece of wire taken from a bicycle, and his playing still has that same ingenuity all these years later. NED LANNAMANN
8 pm, Revolution hall, $35

Federale, Pat Kearns
Portland’s own Federale carries the torch of Ennio Morricone high, with a swarming, psychedelic, orchestral sound that’ll splatter spaghetti sauce all over your cowboy boots. NED LANNAMANN
9 pm, Rontoms, free

The Bronx, Dave Hause
The long-running Los Angeles-based melodic hardcore outfit who moonlight as a mariachi band under their alter ego, Mariachi el Bronx, return to Portland in their original form for a headlining show at Mississippi Studios. Philadelphia punk and hardcore scene staple Dave Hause (Paint It Black, The Loved Ones, The Falcon) opens the evening with a solo set supporting his new album, Bury Me in Philly.
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $20-24

Power Trip, Destruction Unit, Gag, U-Nix
There are certainly bigger bands than Power Trip. There might even be better bands than Power Trip. But few—if any—bands embody the heart-pumping savagery and confrontational spirit of heavy music more vividly and viscerally than this Dallas, Texas, five-piece. The promise Power Trip showed on its 2013 debut, Manifest Decimation, blooms into full-throated sonic destruction on the band’s February follow-up, Nightmare Logic. Listening is like dropping into a firestorm of breakneck rhythms, 10-ton riffs, charred melodies, political hostility, and hellish vibes. Fronted by whip-smart howler/growler Riley Gale, Power Trip sounds like it was hatched under the overpass at the intersection of thrash metal and hardcore punk, where it’s been training all its life to soundtrack the current resistance. Power Trip is the band we need, people. BEN SALMON
7 pm, The Analog Cafe and Little Theater, $13-15

Empty Bowls Fundraiser
Feed yourself while simultaneously raising funds to feed hungry folks who depend on the emergency food box program at Neighborhood House. Beautifully-crafted ceramic bowls will be available for purchase from $5 to over $50 and can be loaded up with piping hot soups from vendors including Noy Viet Lao, New Season’s Market, Hey Stella’s Cocina, and more. EMILLY PRADO
4:30 pm, Multnomah Arts Center, free

Game of Thrones: The Live Concert Experience
Ramin Djawadi personally conducts an 80-piece orchestra and choir on a 360-degree stage, with his score supplemented by scenes from the show, and set design intended to make you feel like you’re in Westeros.
8 pm, Moda Center, $39.50-99.50

Don’t forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!