A John Waters Christmas
Fuck a sugar-plum fairy! During the bleak, horrible time known as “holiday theater season,” the November/December entertainment we really need comes from John Waters, the pencil-mustachioed cult creepster prince of puke himself, in A John Waters Christmas. Skip the treacle and luxuriate in the disgusting delights afforded by the Pope of Trash! Long may he reign! MEGAN BURBANK
8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $39.50
Pixies, The Orwells
The Boston-hailing alternative rock pioneers (sans Kim Deal) return to Portland for a pair of headlining shows supporting their 2016 full-length, Head Carrier. Up-and-coming Chicago rockers the Orwells provide support.
8 pm, Roseland, $49.50-69.50
Orquestra Pacifico Tropical, Tribe Mars, Blossom
Portland’s premier cumbia band will make you shake body parts you didn’t even know you had.
9 pm, Doug Fir, $7-10
Naomi Punk
If James Hurley from Twin Peaks unspiked his dumb hair and suddenly wasn’t such a shitty musician, he’d probably sound like Naomi Punk. The Olympia three-piece makes gritty guitar-punk that reflects the terrible beauty and unique claustrophobia of a Pacific Northwest winter, when the grey sky hangs dangerously low overhead and humanity is inescapably drenched in l’eau de mildew. CIARA DOLAN
9 pm, The Liquor Store, $8-10
Sean Tejaratchi
Los Angeles-based graphic designer, writer, and original Mercury art director Sean Tejaratchi returns to Portland to read from Liartown, a full-color trade paperback compiling four years worth of the best posts from his hilarious Liartown USA blog.
7:30 pm, Powell’s City of Books, free
Clue
The phrase “ahead of its time” is frequently misused, but in the case of the 1985 board game adaptation (!) Clue, it fits like a butler’s white leather glove. The combination of source material and its gimmicky “come back each week and get a different ending!” theatrical hook turned audiences off, but as kids (primarily theater kids) rediscovered it on home video, its whip-smart-and-lightning-fast dialog delivered by a troupe of amazing comic actors (Madeleine Kahn! Michael McKean! Tim fucking Curry!) providing quality characterization in service of a legitimately good mystery finally earned Clue the due it deserved in the first place. BOBBY ROBERTS
9:45 pm, Academy Theater, $3-4
Wait… What?
A special edition of the live game show modeled after Never Mind the Buzzcocks, starring some of Portland’s funniest stand-ups, including Curtis Cook, Alex Falcone, Katie Nguyen, Amanda Arnold, Brandon Lyons, Jake Silberman, Whitney Streed, and Anthony Lopez. Hosted by Martin Lendahls and Isaac Pendergrass.
8 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $12
Taylor Kingman, Mike Coykendall
The frontman of the Hill Dogs brings his finger-picked-yet-crispy folk-rock and narrative-drivin lyrics to Mississippi Studios to celebrate the release of his new Mama Bird Recordings-issued full-length.
8 pm, Mississippi Studios, $8-10
2017 Holiday Ale Festival
For the 22nd straight year, Pioneer Courthouse Square gets tented, heated, and filled with over 50 specialty winter ales from some of the best brewers in the country. Come down spread some holiday cheer while indulging in an array of delicious Belgians, barleywines, stouts, and sours you won’t find at the supermarket.
11 am, Pioneer Courthouse Square, $35
Don’t forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!