Despite living in the U.S. for my entire life — including the Midwest for four years — I have never, not once, ever touched a gun. Until today! I was hanging out in Hawker’s Lockers pawn shop on 82nd Avenue for a story about the economy and, of course, conversation with the good-natured young woman behind the counter turned to her surprising love of guns. While some reports says gun sales spiked dramatically before and after the election, the Hawkers Lockers workers say they haven’t seen any difference. According to pawn shop employees, you should forget the stock market. Gold and guns are your surest investment bets, since (at least in this country) they never depreciate in value. “Though a few weeks ago, I was at Dutch brothers and the coffee guy started asking me about where I work,” offered Cassie, the young woman, “He said he wanted to buy a gun before the ‘Barackolypse’!”

I asked Cassie to show me her favorite gun in the store. The walls and counters were lined with rifles and handguns, but Cassie headed straight to the back and brought out this $1200 semi-automatic Bushmaster. “I was that little redneck girl who just liked guns,” she explained, looking over the huge gun and then handing it to me. Oh geez.

82fd/1238625591-mirk_with_gun.jpg

photo by Scott Toepfer

Why have I never touched a gun? Because I’m terrified of them. Everyone talks about media desensitizing kids to violence but I think growing up on Terminator and True Lies has made me possibly more wary of guns: if there’s one in the room, it means SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE. The gun wasn’t heavy and it looked like a prop, but I still can’t wrap my head around why it’s acceptable for someone to walk into a store and buy a Bushmaster any day of the week.

“Can this be like a hunting gun?” I asked. Cassie and the other worker, an older guy named William, laughed. “That’s not an animal gun!” said William.
“What’s the totally legitimate, non gang-banger reason for owning one of these?” I asked, my finger on the trigger. Cassie shrugged. “There isn’t one.”

The crew got a kick out of my gun jitters and a minute later I looked up and William was aiming a fancy sniper gun at me, a red laser sight beam dancing over my sweater. “You see that dot on you?!” William laughed. haHA!

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

28 replies on “In Which I Hold a Gun”

  1. Wow, William is a fucking idiot.

    Rules of Gun Safety:
    1. All firearms are always loaded.
    2. Always keep a firearm pointed in a safe direction.
    3. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot.
    4. Always be sure of your target and know what is behind it along the bullet’s trajectory.

    My dad also taught me that you never point a gun at something that you don’t want to kill.

    Never go back to that pawn shop.

  3. just to note: his gun was definitely unloaded.

    also to note: I’ll definitely be going back to Hawker’s. The store is rad and I appreciate the laid-back staff, even if they’re slightly too laid back with the gun etiquette.

  5. smirk, see rule #1. EVERY GUN IS ALWAYS LOADED ALL THE TIME. If that shop’s employees can’t practice the rudiments of gun safety, go somewhere else.

    Isn’t there a pawn shop on like Sandy and 22nd? Try there instead.

  7. Sarah, it doesn’t matter how experienced the gun owner is, or how sure they are that it “isn’t” loaded– it’s one of the most important, if not THE most important rule of handling a firearm: don’t point it at anything you don’t intend to kill.

    There could easily be a bullet in the chamber of many weapons. This mistake is all too common. I’m a little disturbed that a retail clerk would be so reckless.

  8. Growing up in Central Washington I have to echo what Graham said.

    I grew up with guns and learned early on they are something you don’t joke around with, hence I’ve never found William’s kind of humor funny. It is downright stupid what he did and something that should get his firearms license pulled/suspended.

    I’ve been dragged to a bazzillion gun shops and shows since I was about eight and have never once seen anything like that.

  9. If I go there and he pull some some shit like that, pull a piece on me. I take it away from him, shove it up his ass, and pull the treeger till eet goes cleeck. ; D

  10. On a more serious note, I have to agree with the general consensus here, Sarah. Guns should always be treated as if they are loaded.Many, many people have been killed by guns that were “definitely unloaded.”

  11. I have to concur with everyone. Idiots like these clerks are precisely the sort of idiots that allow gun “accidents” to occur.

    You write well, Sarah, but you’re a moron to have a massive safety issue pointed out again and again and then say you’re definitely going back to that shop. I know 5-year-olds with more common sense than you.

  12. smirk, it is a bit unfair to have everyone jumping down your throat over your ignorance of gun safety. In order to rectify this, I would recommend you take a gun safety class.

    In the PDX area, this is best sounding one I could find. If you want to continue being a journalist, it would be a good idea to know about firearms.

    http://www.douglasridge.org/ladies_beg_pis…

  13. I think jumping down the throat as about this:

    “I’ll definitely be going back to Hawker’s. The store is rad and I appreciate the laid-back staff, even if they’re slightly too laid back with the gun etiquette.”

    Doesn’t seem unfair at all. That attitude is stupid, not ignorant.

  17. Jacob, this appears to be Blogtown’s fault. If you right-click it and copy link location, it works.

    Stupid fucking ghetto ass blogtown. this is why you can’t have nice things.

  19. As someone who is a fan of both Sarah and that sweater, I’ve gotta say: laser sights should not be hovering on either. Treat all guns (and Washington motorists) like they’re loaded. A hot gangbanger is a safe gangbanger, Sarah.

  20. If I owned the gun shop, William would be unemployed today. Without a good reference. And smirk is hot looking. Good looks and talent. Yum Yum

  23. Look out, Sarah, because the next time you go in to the shop your chances of being actually shot are going to go up! aka shut up, a cat. She’s not being a moron.

    And, Graham, I don’t want to get into a discussion with you about guns, because I know nothing about them – but that “Rule #1” is not actually a rule. It’s more of an adage.

  25. I said that I don’t know anything about guns. I didn’t say I didn’t know what I was talking about. I’m using logic. You don’t think there has ever been an instance where all of the rounds are fired out of a gun, leaving none in it? If that’s ever happened – and I’m assuming it has – then the rule doesn’t always apply. And what kind of a rule is only applicable sometimes? In this case, a shittily-made rule that should more accurately be called an adage.

  26. Ah, the rule has a supplemental sentence that you didn’t post: “All guns are always loaded. Even if they are not, treat them as if they are.”

    That changes things.

Comments are closed.