As Marjorie recently wrote, the Mercury offices are moving to a posh, ivory tower downtown, which is actually kind of a step down from the space station we currently inhabit, endlessly circling above the earth. HOWEVER! OUR LOSS IS YOUR GAIN! Because we're having an amazing yard sale on Sunday, April 10th from 11am - 5pm, featuring five years of the incredible crap we've been hoarding. Even better? All proceeds from the Mercury Yard Sale go to charity. This charity. We'll be giving you near-daily updates on new items we'll be featuring at the yard sale, but let's just start with a few items I plucked off the top of the pile.


Denis Theriault's pull-string Urkel Doll! Pull its string, and it says things like, "Did I doooo thaaaat?" and "Got any cheeeeeeeese?" I know this because I once sat in the backseat of Denis' car, and pulled the string constantly for 25 minutes until I was punched in the face.

More items you desperately want, after the jump!


"Portrait of Wm. Steven Humphrey, age 7"


Platform Shoes, size 9! Worn by Joe Davis during a performance by the Mercury All-Star Cover Band performing the songs of "Sweet." Here's a YouTube clip in which we killed it.


And... sombreros! Seriously, we have a LOT of sombreros—this is just the tip of the sombrero iceberg. And I'm not sure why we have so many sombreros. Maybe it has something to do with racism?

More pix of more items coming soon!