THURSDAY, AUGUST 24
8:30 NBC THE OFFICE (THREE-WAY!)
Three great episodes of The Office, including Michael’s birthday trip to the skating rink, and Dwight’s drug investigation!
9:00 SCI WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO?
The costumed nerds are challenged to find a super villain in a crowded mall. (Hint: Check the parking lot where he’s waiting for his mom to pick him up.)
FRIDAY, AUGUST 25
11:00 HBO REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
Season Premiere! Bill Maher is back with the funniest, smartest political debate show on TV!
SATURDAY, AUGUST 26
9:00 UPN RUSHMORE-Movie
(1998) It’s Jason Schwartzman vs. Bill Murray in a charming fight to the finish for the hand of a widowed schoolmarm.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 27
8:00 NBC EMMY AWARDS
The annual celebration of undeserving TV stars reminding us how undeserving they are. YES, I’M BITTER.
8:00 ABC PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-Movie
(2003) Johnny Depp stars as the swishiest pirate since Adam Ant!
10:00 HBO ENTOURAGE
Season Finale! Vince and the boys find themselves on Hollywood’s shit list.
MONDAY, AUGUST 28
8:00 FOX PRISON BREAK
Michael and Lincoln plan another break out. Try some Proactiv, dudes.
8:30 A&E DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER
Dog tries to straighten out the life of a fugitive—with his fists. And a crowbar.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 29
8:00 FOX CELEBRITY DUETS
Debut! The non-singers fight over who WON’T have to sing with Michael Bolton.
10:00 FX RESCUE ME
Season Finale! Don’t miss the most depressingly hilarious drama on TV!
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30
9:00 FOX JUSTICE
Debut! A high-powered legal team (led by Sydney Bristow’s dad from Alias) screws the law to get their client off. (That sounds dirty.)
10:00 FX 30 DAYS
Season Finale! Host Morgan Spurlock ends the season by spending 30 days in a Virginia prison. Eep! So long, sucker!