You guys should just smile and blooooooww me for presenting to you this trailer for upcoming film The Beaver, starring America’s sweetheart Mel Gibson:
Gibson, of course, was last in the news for vomiting up telephone messages to his girlfriend that were so profane, misogynistic and downright scary they seemingly did for his career what an anti-Semitic rant and Apocalypto couldn’t: killed the fuck out of it. Yet… here he is again, starring (fittingly) as an soppy old crank in need of redemption. The Beaver is directed by and costars Jodie Foster who obviously cast Gibson before he stuck his dick in the hornet nest.
Not that a suggestively titled film about a talking beaver puppet doesn’t have the power to save Gibson’s career but when it comes to celebrities the public tends to vote with their wallets. I’m guessing that whatever, if any, critical acclaim The Beaver garners won’t matter much to people who want to put Mel in a fuckin’ rose garden, the cunt. Because they’re capable of it! Do you understand that?!
So, an anti-semite with a beaver puppet and a lesbian walk into a bar. The bartender says “hey, can I get you guys some drinks?” to which the anti-semite replies “YOU NEED TO GET OVER HERE AND BLOOOOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
What was wrong with Apocalypto? It’s not the best movie ever made, but overall it’s a decent film.
More disturbing than that movie where she flirted with Dr. Lecter…WHY, JODIE, WHY?
beavers suck, GO DUCKS!
@Graham
Yeah… I was going for the easy joke. I’m actually a big Apocalypto apologetic. It was a big box office flop, though, coming after his DUI dust-up and being subtitled, controversial and super violent.
But you’re right, I do like that film.
Actually, this movie could be worthwhile if it contains any or all of the following scenes:
1. Mel tries to beat off and the beaver puppet savagely takes its teeth to his “wood.”
2. Jodie buys a monkey puppet and she and Mel have hot puppet sex…at least until their wrists get tired. (Carpal tunnel of love?)
3. Mel kills his wife and kids and ends up on death row, where, stripped of his beloved puppet, he ends up with his right hand stuffed inside a dead rat, which talks, of course, and talks and talks and talks…