So sometimes DVDs come to me in the mail. If I think they’re halfway interesting to anybody else, I’ll usually review them on Blogtown (tomorrow: reviews of the new Futurama DVD and the 11th volume of The Journal of Short Film). If they look particularly terrible, I’ll throw it onto Ezra’s desk and insist that he watch it. (Enjoy Toxic, asshole!) And sometimes, if no one gives a shit about them except for me, I’ll take them home, where they pile up on my already too-big stack of DVDs that nobody else gives a shit about. (Director’s cut of Jet Li’s Fearless, anyone? Anyone?)
Today, though, we got two DVDs I don’t know what the fuck to do with: The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, both of ’em two-disc, “deluxe editions,” featuring entirely too many special features–you know, just in case you want to go into fantastically minute detail about just how shitty a director Stephen Sommers is. As if that’s not lousy enough, these DVDs also boast digital copies of each film, so you can keep The Mummy Returns on your iPod forever, secure in the knowledge that, whenever the mood strikes, you can watch classic scenes like this:
Damn. Here’s where I was going to put a video of some crappy Mummy scene, but all I could find on YouTube were creepy fan videos. Who the fuck loves The Mummy enough to make something like this?
I guess I answered my own question. Congrats, BlackCat18Bdg.
ANYWAY. I DO NOT WANT THESE DVDS ON MY DESK. So: Contest! Whoever can post a link to the absolute worst Mummy-related fan video on YouTube will “win” these DVDs. The contest ends either at 5 pm on Monday or whenever I can’t take watching them anymore, at which point I will likely throw my computer off the Mercury‘s roof.
In related news, Brendan Fraser is a dick.
I actually like Fearless. I’m not sure if I liked it enough to watch a director’s cut though.
But The Mummy? Five movies and an animated series? I’m tempted to shoot a video of me crapping on some torn up linens as a fan tribute video for this contest. Think that’d win?
lol @ Sommers’ IMDB page. I will say this, though, Deep Rising did have Famke Janssen in it. That’s… all I’ve got.
Fraser’s a “dick” because his MTV interviewer doesn’t know jack about interviews? Huh.
Here’s the link to a strange, strange one I found
“The lives of a nightclub owner, a crime boss, a stripper, a bartender, two hitmen, a prostitute and a psychic take a turn for the worse when they are trapped in an escaped mental patient’s sinister path of madness and destruction.”
If Toxic still needs a home, I’m be glad to come down to the office and pick it up. Plus, it’ll give Matt a chance to punch me in the face.
Anyone who is willing to spend enough time making this, deserves to win me some DVDs! Come on! Big money!!
Congrats, I guess, nibo? (I got 1:09 into that before I had to turn it off, which I suppose makes you the winner, against some very stiff competition.) So come by the Mercury offices (605 NE 21st Ave) and pick up these DVDs so I don’t have to keep ’em in my office anymore. They’ll be at the front desk.