8 Women
On the surface, jealousy is the combative common ground the film’s eight women share in the home of a murdered man who is a husband, a father, a brother, a son-in-law, and a philanderer in relation to the various characters. The women candidly sing and dance to their inner feelings, while hiding away their jealousies or hurling bold suspicions at one another. Costume adjustments–buttons coming undone as emotions burst forth, layers stripped to reveal softer underpinnings–speak as loudly as the women do, becoming a narrator for the film and demonstrating once more the silent language that bonds the eight very different personalities as they rage and roil, desperate to prove their innocence. (Kathleen Wilson)
Afrogral
A Soviet frontier drama about the construction of a modern city.
After Life
Hirokazu Kore-Eda’s assured follow-up to the magisterial, impossibly patient and calm Mabirosi is a quirky, gentle vision of the hereafter. On the festival circuit, such as at Sundance, its gentle comedy and serene tone was a welcome diversion from domestically produced careerism. Kore-Eda’s story unfolds in a pre-heaven limbo, where the dead are led through a process of selecting a single moment of happiness before moving on to the next world. Kore-Eda, an experienced documentarian, drew on interviews with hundreds of aged Japanese, a handful of which provide the film’s most moving, most amusing moments. (Ray Pride)
Army of Darkness
Bruce Campbell is the GQ, dumb as a rock hero who tumbles back into the 14th Century. There, he battles a platoon of skeletons, swashbuckles through Gothic castles, and woos a babelicious. A well-produced horror flick that knows when to scare and when to goof.
The Attack on American Paranoid Propaganda
A collection of films relevant to the paranoia propaganda rampant in the U.S. right now. What You Need to Know About Biological Warfare (US Government 1952) explains how the enemy could poison our air and food. In Japanese Relocation (US government 1942) Eisenhower’s brother explains why the Japanese concentration camps are okay. The Day Business Died (1974) shows Americans how screwed they would be without giant corporations. And Attack on America (The Republican Party 1980) warns that Jimmy Carter has allowed Fidel Castro to arm all of Central America, and if citizens do not send support money to the Republican party, we will all be under siege. Plus, more.
Ballistic: Ecks v. Sever
Seeing as how only ten people appear to have seen this flick opening weekend, this here review will be necessarily brief: Lucy Liu is, of course, hot. Antonio Banderas appears to be asleep throughout the film. And the director, “KAOS,” appears to be harboring a substantial grudge against train boxcars, since at least twenty are incinerated during the film’s finale. In short, yes, it’s pretty bad. (Bradley Steinbacher)
The Banger Sisters
After her daughter’s eye-catching turn as a young groupie in Almost Famous, Goldie Hawn plays an aging one in this cloying, aggravating piece of false, middlebrow claptrap. One thing in Hawn’s favor is the accuracy of her portrayal: her Suzette is a skanky, surgically enhanced sub-hippie with no redeeming qualities except, in most circumstances, the willingness to fuck strangers. After being fired from her bartending job (for drinking on the job! Whatta buncha fascists!) she road trips to Phoenix, where her former partner in fashionably random sex with musicians Lavinia (Susan Sarandon, squandered), has sold out to become a rich, anal-retentive soccer mom. Along the way, Suzette encounters an obsessive compulsive plot contrivance named Harry (Geoffrey Rush), who falls in love with her untamed spirit (and her handjobs). Soon, Suzette and Vinnie are reliving their youths by smoking 20-year-old joints, wearing tight pants, and otherwise “living out loud” the way only movie women can. Not all of this movie sucks, just 2/3 or so. The main problem is the script’s rank substitution of groupiedom for actual liberation, which makes any potential insights about friendship, growing old, or even sexual freedom, pale next to the unshakable image of writer/director Bob Dolman jerking off as he wrote.
Barbershop
Starring two popular rappers, Ice Cube and Eve, Barbershop is about a young man (Ice Cube) who reluctantly runs a barbershop he inherited from his recently departed father. He has big ambitions and so does not recognize the social importance of the small business. The best parts of the movie take place in the barbershop–the locus of laughter and general idiocy. Cedric the Entertainer, who plays the patriarch of the barbershop, is the primary generator of this humor, which is often mixed with comments on the state of things in black America. None of his assessments of past or current events are thought through clearly; in fact, the most complete or sophisticated argument in the movie concerns the scientific difference between good booty and bad booty. (Charles Mudede)
Blue Eyes
Watch 40 adults participate in a program initially designed for 3rd graders that assesses the social impact of the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. The results are compelling.
Brown Sugar
A hiphop love story, need we say more? See review this issue.
The Cat and the Canary
A 1927 old, dark house scary movie complete with secret panels, a madman, and a creepy housekeeper. The Clinton Street is bringing in a lightning machine for extra pants-crapping horror, plus spooky music. Take a hot date.
Color of Fear
This film addresses the racism that occurs on a daily basis, both benign and intentional.
Creature of the Mist
After Brian Henderson’s young wife dies, he rents a cabin on the lake to try and clear his head. Unfortunately for him, however, he discovers creepy plants and animals, and the legend of the Woman of the Waters. He must then engage in a struggle between illusion and reality that, based on his choices, will decide his fate. Man, it is so uncool when the shit goes down like that.
Dada Dada Dada
Dada and Surrealist films including Symphonie Diagonale (1924), Anémic Cinéma (1926), Entr’acte (1924), Ballet Mécanique (1924), etc. You are encouraged to bring your musical instrument and score the films.
Dagon
Based on a short story by macabre master H.P. Lovecraft, Dagon tells the story of a boating accident off the coast of Spain that sends a young couple to the fishing village of Imboca looking for help. As night falls, people start to disappear and things not quite human start to appear. Paul finds himself pursued by the entire town. Running for his life, he uncovers Imboca’s dark secret: they pray to Dagon, a monstrous god of the sea, and Dagon’s unholy offspring are freakish half-human creatures on the loose in Imboca.
Das Experiment
The good news is, this movie’s about a journalist who takes part in an interesting scientific study of power dynamics. In the study, half of the volunteers play guards and the other half play prisoners. The bad news is, this study was done in real life, and they had to stop the experiment because the “guards” got too violent. If you believe that humans have a core of decency within them, you may want to skip this one.
Elling
The success of this comedy in its native country, Norway, offers conclusive evidence that the closer one gets to the Arctic Circle the stranger the sense of humor becomes. Nothing in the world would convince anyone who lives near the equator that this film about two madmen attempting to reenter regular society as roommates is in the least bit funny. To its credit, Elling does have a few remarkable shots of Oslo.
Etoiles
How is a UCLA sorority like the Paris Opera Ballet? Can you say bitch? This intimate and well-filmed documentary captures the wildcat backstage and backstabbing antics of the ballet. It is a study in how your best, most trusted friend can be your worst enemy. Spliced with mesmerizing dance footage.
Evocations of Place: The Films of Peter Hutton
Short black and white silent films showcasing landscape beauty. Filmmaker in attendance.
Eye of the Day
Although Indoneisa has a population of 200 million, it is one of the lesser known countries in the world. The Guild continues wih their “Global Concerns” film series, trying to educate us to the plights of other people. (As if we don’t have enough to worry about!) This film takes an uncomfortably close-up look at the momentum that ousted long-time ruler/dictator President Suharto. What is compelling about the film is that director Leonard Helmrich isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. (During filming, he was booted from the country.) Both overwhelmingly sad and inspirational. (The peasants win in the end! Yeah.)
The Four Feathers
After turning tail at the brink of war, a branded Brit coward goes deep undercover in the Sudan hoping to save his friends and regain his honor. Premises don’t come much more crackerjack, but this initially ambitious version of an oft-told tale unfortunately seems to have undergone severe trimming late in the game, scattering both character motivation and important plot points to the desert winds. (As it stands, the only clear marker of time’s passage lies in star Heath Ledger’s amazing Chia hair.) An intermittently engaging study in derring-do, nudged along by director Shekhar (Elizabeth) Kapur’s sense of grandiose scale and some indecently lovely camerawork. This may have not been a great movie at epic length, but it would surely have resonated better than this plucked, wandering concoction. Kate Hudson glows, as always. (Andrew Wright )
The Good Girl
Justine Last (Jennifer Aniston) works at the Retail Rodeo. She has worked there for many many years, her husband and his buddy paint houses for a living and smoke a lot of pot. Justine is sad, bored, and unhappy, until… a weird young guy calling himself Holden (Jake Gyllenhall) befriends her. From there, it’s all down hill. I had heard tons of hype about this film before screening it–“Jennifer Aniston plays against type… ” and all that. Well, Jennifer does play against type, but isn’t that what acting is all about? Given the directing and writing credits of director Miguel Arteta and writer Mike White who brought us the deliciously uncomfortable Chuck and Buck, I guess I expected a more ominous and darker tone, but The Good Girl seems more screwball than drama. This works on some levels, but overall it just feels melodramatic. (Brian Brait)
Hillbillies in Hollywood
Hilbilly, rockabilly, and Western film clips from rare 1927-1963 films.
I am Trying to Break Your Heart
I fucking love Wilco. I collect the band’s bootlegs, know all of their names and former bands by heart, and even chat online with other Wilco fans. I am a Wilco nerd and this film was made for me, not you. And that’s why it’s such a mighty letdown. The majority of I Am Trying to Break Your Heart consists of footage of the band as they laboriously create and record songs for their recent Yankee Hotel Foxtrot album in their posh Chicago loft. Surrounded by an awe-inspiring amount of musical equipment and technology, the five-piece band drops down to a quartet after multi-instrumentalist Jay Bennett gets the boot for being a passive-aggressive little baby. But it’s not the firing that makes up the plot twist in this film; that comes later when the band’s label, Reprise (owned by über-conglomerate Warner Bros), doesn’t like the recordings and insists the band re-record them. The band refuses and instead takes the story to the media, where dorks like myself are up in arms over the fact that such a popular and credible band is getting the shaft. Fearing more bad press, Reprise/Warner drops the band–picking up the hefty recording tab in the process–only to have one of their offshoot labels (Nonesuch) re-sign the band for another mighty sum. Basically, they paid for the record they didn’t like–twice. (Ezra Caraeff)
I Don’t Know Jack
Brooding, at times brutal, sometimes piss drunk, Jack Nance was a nuanced actor and an even more intriguing person. Most famous for his role in Eraserhead, Nance had more acting ability in his pinkie than other died-too-young actors (read: James Dean), but he was written off as a lark and a drunk. This documentary examines Nance’s life and his cult status. Touching interviews from David Lynch and Dennis Hopper lend a credence and heft to the film. Footage of the often-funny Nance lends a buoyancy.
Igby Goes Down
A melancholic comedy that captures the privileged heartbreak of Salinger far better than The Royal Tenenbaums ever could. Igby, a preppie with a punk streak, gets kicked out of his last boarding school and takes to Manhattan, where he squats purposelessly, has sex with junkies and JAPs, and basically seethes until life more or less insists that he make a move. A sharply-observed film down to the upturned collars and half-Windsor knots, Igby gets to the heart of its characters without either indicting or apologizing for its cultural framework. (Sean Nelson)
John Cohen Film Night
Cohen’s film, Musical Holdouts, shows the origins of traditional music from black Southern school children, to Arkansas cowboys, to California street musicians. Shown with another of his films, Gypsies Sing Long Ballads.
Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie
The computer-animated version of the pamphlets you find at bus stops. Those backwards-assed Christian fundamentalists are spreading their demon-seed again, this time using produce as their minions. Don’t those devotion-drunk fools know that any reasonable child will never, ever, going to listen to a vegetable? Never trust a five-year-old that heeds the teachings of a cucumber.
The Kid Stays in the Picture
The Kid Stays in the Picture is the kind of True Hollywood Story that E! network executives have filthy dreams about. Robert Evans’ enchanted rise to the top of the Hollywood food chain as an actor (sort of), and then as a maverick producer was followed by failed marriages with glamorous movie stars, and an abrupt downfall that included drug abuse and murder. (Adam Hart )
The Knockaround Guys
The sons of mobsters say, “don’t knock us around, damnit!” See review this issue.
The Last Kiss
Boys become men and men become boys in this smart relationship drama. See review this issue.
Lifeforce
A sci-fi geek’s wet dream about a mission into space that goes awry when the ship is caught in the head of a comet. The astronauts aboard the misrouted ship recover three human-like aliens who later turn out to be space vampires, who (of course) suck the lifeforce out of their mortal victims and turn them into vampires, too.
Long Time No See
Local director Brett Eichenberger premieres his feature length film about revisiting childhood romances. Mark Boone Jr. (from Memento) plays the wide-eyed Josh Morgan, whose family picks up and leaves his childhood hometown for Alaska. Twelve years later, Josh decides to find out what happened to his pre-teen sweetheart.
Moonlight Mile
All right, what am I going to say about this movie? Sappy, kinda pointless, stars one of those Rene Zell-whatever look-alike chicks that does zany things like kiss old men on the cheek. Jake Gyllenhaal (aka Donnie Darko) is in it and does a pretty good job, despite the molasses script. He’s pretty cute, too, especially when his eyes are welling up with tears. Jake is living with his fiancée Diana’s parents, played by Susan Sarandon and Dustin Hoffman. He gets along with them well; trouble is, his fiancée is dead. Uh oh, though. Five minutes after Diana’s corpse cools off, Jake runs into Bertie McCuterson at the post office while trying to reclaim his now-expired wedding invitations. He shouldn’t really be dating so soon, but he’s lonely, she’s cute, and the cosmic force of destiny is at work. (Katie Shimer )
Mostly Martha
When her sister dies, workaholic chef Martha must step out of the kitchen and into the real world to care for her surviving niece. She’s a fish out of water with real family, but feels like she’s swimming with sharks at the restaurant, where the chef that’s been hired to help during this rough period has charmed her entire staff. Beautiful food shots, clever montages, and the sparks that fly between chefs counterbalance a hurried conclusion. (Sarah Sternau )
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
A frumpy diamond in the rough (Nia Vardalos) goes against the wishes of her lovingly oppressive family and falls for a hunky WASP (John Corbett, coasting on his Sex & The City vibe) in this intermittently amusing Grecian yarn. The refreshingly unconventional Vardalos adapted from her one-woman play, and the best material springs from her sporadic narration, goofing gently on such eccentricities as her dad’s Windex fetish and the many permutations of cousins named Nick. Unfortunately, her presence and a sharp supporting cast (including the ever-prickly Andrea Martin) can’t wholly mitigate the myriad of Memorexed gags, well-trod life lessons, and director Joel Zwick’s flat, sitcomish presentation. There’s precious little here that hasn’t been seen a gazillion times before, but Vardalos’ earthy charisma and a few stray bits of off-kilter wit make for an amiable saunter into the matrimonial breech. N’Syncher Joey Fatone cameos as a bearded guy. (Andrew Wright)
Olympia Film Fest
On October 11, Sam Seder and Charles Fisher screen their film Who’s the Cabooose? and Seder also presents a work in progress film, A Bad Situationist on Sunday. Highlights of the fest include “Meet Mr. Show” with David Cross and Bob Odenkirk at 6:30 pm, at 409 Columbia Street, plus the Mr. Show guys screening Steven Seagal’s On Deadly Ground and lecturing at 10 pm that evening. Other featured artists are the underground filmmaking masters, The Brothers Kuchar, Devon Damonte, who will conduct a “24 Hour LockUp Animation” workshop, and Stuart Gordon (director of Re-Animator) will screen his new horror film, Dagon. See olyfilm.org for more details.
One Hour Photo
One Hour Photo is an armchair psychologist’s wet dream. And, like most pop psych and self-help programs, it’s sorta cliché, sorta predictable, and not exactly snooze-inducing–but not riveting or illuminating either. The premise: Robin Williams plays Sy the Photo Guy, a balding control freak who manages a one-hour photo shop. Sy’s longtime customers, The Yorkins–Will, Nina, and little Jake–are this picture-perfect, hottie yuppie family. He is utterly obsessed with the Yorkins; Nina and Jake in particular. Through processing their photos, he’s followed their seemingly happy lives; and, because he’s so lonely, he also pasted copies of nine years’ worth of their photos to his wall in unabashed stalker fashion. Creepy. Like any stalker story, the film’s fate lies in the hands of the director. And Mark Romanek does a good job setting up and unfolding the story. Unfortunately, as Romanek is also the scriptwriter, he only has himself to blame for the slow pace of the dialogue. (Julianne Shepherd)
Pi
Love him or hate him, it’s hard to deny that Darren Aronofsky is a master craftsman. His cinematic visions are complete, with music, sound effects, and incredibly sharp editing working together to create symphonic orgies of titillation. Pi is his debut film, and though its story of a super-genius’s development of a number that explains the universe is a bit undeveloped, its aesthetic appeal alone is well worth the price of admission.
Pickman’s Model/The Yellow Sign
First, HP Lovecraft’s 1927 film about a woman who agrees to pose as a model for a male painter because he seems to have insight into her super-natural visions. Followed by a similar modern tale.
Possession
No director in the universe (with the possible exception of John Waters) could save a bad novel like Possession, which was authored by A. S. Byatt. It’s the one novel Hollywood should have left in its original condition: a bad book. Now it has a second life as a bad movie. (Charles Mudede)
Quitting
You’re young, you’re gifted, you’re an actor, and you’ve begun your ascent to superstardom. How do you avoid becoming completely alienated from everyone and everything? If you said, “Have your traditionalist parents arrive in the big city and declare their intention to move in with you,” you’d be horribly wrong, but you’d also be describing the plot of this new movie from the talented director of Shower.
Red Dragon
This film is based on the novel that came before Silence of the Lambs, and which was scarier than Silence of the Lambs, and has already been filmed before as Manhunter. Director Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) has no imagination, Anthony Hopkins is asleep, and the great supporting cast make the film okay, but not scary.
Rules of Attraction
The new brat pack stars in a smoky, druggie, slutty love triangle. See review this issue.
Secretary
James Spader slaps Maggie Gyllenhaal’s ass, and she loves it. See review this issue.
Sex and Lucia
After reading local writer Lorenzo Alvarez’s novel, Lucia shows up at a bar where he drinks, pledges her love to him, and says that they should move in together immediately. He accepts, and so their intensely sexual and loving relationship begins. When complications arise, their relationship hits a breaking point and tragedy strikes. Lucia then flees in order to uncover Lorenzo’s past. The scenery in the film is beautiful, the acting is great, and Lucia (played by Paz Vega) is reason enough to drop the six bucks, considering she’s one of the most beautiful women ever. Ultimately, the film is motivating–it posits that destiny exists, but you have to go out and find it.
Signs
In M. Night Shyamalan’s most recent masterpiece, his obsessions with Philadelphia and the presence of God shine through, making the movie not only a thriller about crop circles and ohhh aliens, but also an interesting meditation on some deep stuff.
Spirited Away
In My Neighbor Totoro, I fell in love with Hayao Miyazaki’s vision of adolescence, the blissful swirl around an often impenetrable storyline that only served to enhance the echo of youthful confusion; I fell in love with the manipulative fairytale ecstasy of picturesque Japanese childhood; but most specifically (and what probably aligns me with the deserved ranks of the anime poseur), I fell in love with Miyazaki’s grasp of the crippling power of cute. His Princess Mononoke ditched cute for credibility, and Spirited Away stumbles away even further. The cute is what makes Miyazaki’s confused, draining films–whose “epic” vision usually devolves into marathons that last at least 30 agonizing minutes longer than necessary–bearable. In spite of its conspicuous cute deficiency, Spirited Away is by all means a striking visual composition–just make sure you’re not drowsy going in. (Zac Pennington)
Star!
1968 musical extravaganza about the life of Gertrude Lawrence, starring Julie Andrews and directed by Robert Wise. Andrews’ wardrobe set a record for most costume changes by an actress in one film.
Sweet Home Alabama
If you’re thinking about watching Sweet Home Alabama–and I assume the thought crossed your mind if you’re reading this review–I’d like to suggest some alternative uses of your time. Sharpen all the pencils in your collection and stick them through your eyes. Pull out every last nose hair with a pair of fingernail clippers. Use an electric drill to impale your eardrums. Any of one of these activities would be a better use of two hours than this shit-on-a-stick waste of a lesson that’s already been taught in one hackneyed comedy after another–namely, that poor white Southern folk are fat, dumb, and wear Jaclyn Smith, but the boys are hot and they ain’t as stupid as city folk think, ’cause they have heart. (Jennifer Maerz)
Swimfan
A teenage Fatal Attraction, where doggy Erika Christenesen seduces cutie Jesse Bradford into humping her, even though he’s got the best girlfriend in the whole world. When he doesn’t want to hump anymore, she inexplicably sets out to kill him and everyone he knows.
The Transporter
A superstud driver-for-hire mangles a vast assortment of skeevy Eurotrash in order to protect his incessantly shrieking, Lolita-esque Chinese hostage. Many things explode. Not quite smart enough to qualify as acceptably mindless, this multinational, heavily accented testosterone Big Gulp baldly aims to combine the worlds of J. Woo and G.Q., with sputtering, cortex-croggling results. Occasionally rousing, with a smattering of ace chop-socky (particularly a delirious mega-fight marinated in Texas Crude), but ultimately torpedoed by writer/producer Luc (The Professional) Besson’s patented brand of synth-poppy fromage. Lead Jason Statham is the very definition of Cockney badass, but should refrain from ever wearing a buttoned-to-the-neck baby blue polo shirt again. (Andrew Wright)
Tuck Everlasting
Disney’s version of the award-winning young person’s book by Natalie Babbitt. See review this issue.
The Tuxedo
As everyone knows, what makes a kung fu film great is that sooner rather than later they get to the point: the dazzling dance of attack and defense. The Tuxedo is a bad kung fu film because it spends too much time and energy developing its sorry plot (a spy spoof), and the fight scenes are worth shit. The Tuxedo sucks like nobody’s business. (Charles Mudede)
Uzumaki: Spiral into Horror
A “fever dream” of naughty hijinks adapted from Junji Ito’s comic book about a superficially normal small town in the throes of an obsession with… uh, spirals? Of course, spirals! Pretty soon folks are transmogrifying into slow-moving, slime-covered snail people. Sure to include plenty of sex, paranoia and even the apocalypse!
Vital Signs
A documentary on disability rights, including performances, interviews, readings, and activist footage.
White Oleander
Another Oprah book turned pukefest. See review this issue.
XXX
Just how bad is XXX? Worse than you’ve imagined. Seriously. I would rather be catheterized by a Parkinson’s-afflicted nurse than sit through it again. It’s that bad. Don’t believe me? Then go see it. Flop down the $10 at your neighborhood multiplex and slouch your way through the picture. You’ll see–and afterward you’ll say, “Shit, man, I wish I’d listened to that chump from the Mercury.” (Bradley Steinbacher)