when animals attack Iv: Animal Propaganda and Subversion
Every movement has had its ministry of propaganda. There was Hollywood and CNN for the US, the Nazis had Goebbels, and remember Mohammed “Let the American infidels bask in their illusion” Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information? Animals also employ a host of filmmakers-cum-propagandizers to propagate their message of friendliness and caring, of warmth and well-being. In reality we all know they are untethered slaughtering mouth-foamers with nothing on their pea-sized brains other than the incessant march towards a humanless tomorrow. These films would have us believe something entirely different. Don’t be fooled!
– Benji (1974)–Higgins the Dog expertly portrays the unquestionably loveable Benji in this saccharine production. Benji is a vagrant who begs for a living. Some neighborhood kids who are his favorite “marks” are kidnapped. Bye-bye meal ticket. In order to resume his hand-to-mouth existence, Benji, a feral, half-starved dog, facilitates their rescue. This film was a landmark for the cause.
– Francis the Talking Mule (1950)–This film uses, most unsubtly, anthropomorphism to endear a mule to the audience-at-large. A precursor to the familiar and more successful television series, Mister Ed, Francis talks very openly to one person but never to anyone else. Ha Ha. This makes the human look like a jackass and the mule look like a mule with the brain of a brainiac. This was the first ship in the flotilla of utterly successful equine-oriented “licking-peanut butter-off-the-teeth-looks-like-talking” gag films that would last for decades. Kudos.
– Watership Down (1978)–Animated and Orwellian, this is the saga of a warren of rabbits that set out on a pilgrimage to find freedom from tyranny and oppression. Since it is animated and contains bunnies–which children are automatically drawn to–and because it is so disturbing and graphic, with the fields of blood and whatnot, I contend the sole purpose of this film is to brutally shock young human children into a panicked fleeing gait toward the waiting arms of the nearest PETA recruiter. A must see. LANCE CHESS