Credit: Via.

Look, god knows I love RoboCop as much as anybody, and god knows I retweeted this as soon as I saw it, too—

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—but holy shit, those nerds actually went and did it, raising $50,000 in an attempt to get a RoboCop statue built in Detroit. (Actually, according to the movement’s Kickstarter page, they’re actually a little over—$52,965.)

Keep in mind that this is Detroit, a city so hard-up that it (A) more or less actually resembles the dystopic Detroit from RoboCop, and (B) has resorted to getting its pep talks from Eminem car commercials.

I will say it again: God knows I love RoboCop. And not to sound like an asshole, but being cute on the internet is one thing, and actually using $50,000 to help make cash-strapped Detroit a better place—and not just a half-dead city that happens to have a statue of RoboCop in it—is another. Nice work, fellow RoboCop nerds, for raising $50,000 in the name of our favorite cyborg law enforcement officer. But how about—instead of directing it to a statue forged out of equal parts metal and irony—donating that $50,000 to, I don’t know, a Detroit children’s hospital or something. Take a cue from the Browncoats, or from Child’s Play, or any other group of philanthropic dweebs. Do some good with your nerdery.

Hell, maybe you can have it both ways—for a $50,000 donation, I bet some hospital in Detroit would rename a wing or something as the “RoboCop Memorial Children’s Hospital.” And maybe, just maybe, this guy could cut the ribbon at the opening ceremony. It’s just an idea. But perhaps, my fellow nerds, it’s time, once again, to ask the question that we ask ourselves every morning: What would RoboCop do?

/earnestness

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

13 replies on “Nerds Raise $50,000 for RoboCop Statue, World Hunger Continues”

  1. $50k is a drop in the bucket and wouldn’t solve anything for any hospital in Detroit. You might as well complain about the vastly greater amount that will be spent on booze and strippers in Portland tonight. Spitting a $50k wad into the ocean that is financial deprivation in Detroit and feeling like you helped would be collective slacktivism. A statue endures, and might be a more-potent example of our belief in virtue than a fleeting “Platinum Circle Donors” nod from some charity.

  2. RocoCop would probably shoot someone in the crotch, that’s what.

    How much would it cost to actually make a RoboCop statue anyway? Maybe we can get that guy who earned $16k a month for not building a bridge to help out. We can have the statue *and* the charity, is all I’m saying.

  5. Reminds me of Groupon spending ~$9 million on silly ads to support social/environmental causes instead of *directly donating to those causes.*

    Oh, that’s right, that’s not how corporate charity works. They need PR before they can give away their tax donations.

  7. Next time I need someone to tell me the cocktail I purchased could’ve fed a starving family for a week I’ll give you a call, Erik.

  9. @TK- RoboCop would shoot a guy in the crotch THROUGH A WOMAN’S DRESS. Then he would punch a guy in the skull, and that guy’s skull would EXPLODE.

    GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR.

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