Below is a scene cut from the theatrical version of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, which came out roughly seven months ago and had all the lasting impact of a hairy footprint in dry sand. The breeze from the blockbusters that followed buried that print, and that won’t do; there’s still two more movies left to be wrung out of J.R.R. Tolkien’s goofy children’s story about a homebody hanging out with a group of slobs and a sneaky old fart who shoots fireworks out of his magic stick. So how best to remind people? Release an extended blu-ray that shoves even more useless padding into a film already stuffed with noisy pointlessness, like a mattress made of Furbys.
For example:
That this minute-long clip feels like three is a real testament to the pursuit of bloat Jackson’s chosen to take on this return-trip to Middle-Earth.
Is there any real reason for an extended cut of 1/3rd a story that takes longer to watch than reading the entirety of the book it’s based on? No. So why is it happening? Because that’s how they did it on Lord of the Rings, so that’s how we’ll do it here. It’s the same logic that painfully stretches The Hobbit across three movies like William Wallace.
BUT: Just in case you liked the movie, or you’re simply a completist who needs to buy it because otherwise your blu-ray shelf will feel imbalanced somehow (i.e. the reason most childless adults still have copies of the Star Wars prequels) the blu-ray will be available October 22nd, in a variety of options, including a five-disc 3D set with an MSRP of $54.99. You’d be fool of a Took not to get one (ugh).
More scenes with the birdshit guy, please
One full disc will comprise of nothing but footage of Peter Jackson quietly reading the entirety of the Hobbit by himself.
It’s crazy to think about how that kid grew up to be John Krasinski.
To me, the most annoying part about the length of these movies is having to read post after post by film hobbyists mathing out the length of the book and the length of the movies and then agonizing over why both aren’t exactly equal.
Just one more year of these posts.
I didn’t see this movie in the theater. So, should I even bother to see this thing? I was a fan of the LOTR books back in the day, and the movies in a more recent day. So, would I enjoy this enough to make it worthwhile even though it has its problems?
There are readers who appreciate the film’s expansion down various new subplots, and there are readers who think Jackson completely missed the point of the book. I’d say give the theatrical edition a rent. It might work for you. There’s enough “Hobbit” still intact that seeing moments from the book come to life should work to some degree.
At the very least, Peter Jackson is back in Middle-Earth, which means lots of helicopter shots of very, very pretty scenery.
Thanks. Also, this is brilliant:
“….stuffed with noisy pointlessness, like a mattress made of Furbys”
It’s been a while since I read the books. I remember the hairy hobbit feet but not the disgusting and bizarre ears.