THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8
8:00 WB SMALLVILLE
It’s a Smallville “Christmas Carol” when Lex gets visited by the ghost of his nagging mom.
8:00 FOX THE O.C.
Ryan gets an internship with the Newport Group and Summer learns how to play the tuba (sexy!).
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9
8:00 FOX DEAR SANTA
Actual families’ holiday wishes are granted by… Clay Aiken? What are they wishing for? To be tortured to death??
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10
8:00 NBC IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—Movie
(1946) The townsfolk save a ruined banker. Isn’t it sad that this could never, ever happen?
9:00 SPIKE VIDEOGAME AWARDS
Hey Nerds! Samuel L. Jackson hosts this tribute to videogames. Plus: sexy girls you will never have a chance of dating.
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11
8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA
Season Finale! In a surprising twist, the winner gets a million dollars and the runner-up gets fed to the crocodiles.
8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS
While visiting Italy, the Simpsons’ blow Sideshow Bob’s cover!
MONDAY, DECEMBER 12
8:00 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
Lucille is caught making out with the prison warden (James Lipton). All together now… “Eww.”
8:00 NBC ELTON JOHN: THE RED PIANO
Elton performs live in Vegas with the help of Justin Timberlake’s throat and Pamela Anderson’s breasts.
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13
9:00 UPN VICTORIA’S SECRET FASHION SHOW
Okay… and why shouldn’t I just jump online and download some free porn?
10:00 FX NIP/TUCK
Christmas is ruined when Mrs. Claus comes in for liposuction.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14
8:00 UPN AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
The girls of season five reunite to scratch each other’s eyes out.
10:00 ABC ALIAS
Sydney reunites with Vaughn (yayyyyy!)—in her
mind (boooooooo!).