Thurs, January 2
8:00 FAM JOE VS. THE VOLCANO–Movie(1990) A romantic comedy starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan that won’t make you throw up in your hat.
8:00 FOX ELECTION–Movie(1999) Reese Witherspoon plays a high school power-broker who happily ruins the career of teacher Matthew Broderick.
Fri, January 3
8:00 FX STARSHIP TROOPERS–Movie(1997) A beautiful vision of the future where a coed military not only gets to stomp bugs, but they also shower together!
8:00 VH1 THE SAMMY & DAVE SHOWSammy Hagar and David Lee Roth join forces on a summer tour, and bicker like a balding old married couple.
Sat, January 4
8:00 FX CADDYSHACK–Movie(1980) A caddy in search of a college scholarship is impeded by a drunk millionaire, Ted Knight and a gopher.
8:00 TVLAND SANFORD & SON MARATHONA two-day marathon featuring the best of Fred, Lamont, Rollo, Grady, Aunt Esther, Julio, and of course, Elizabeth.
Sun, January 5
9:00 ABC ALIASMarshall (the show’s comic relief nerd) is captured and slowly tortured by foreign spies. Who’s laughing now, geek?
10:00 TOON HARVEY BIRDMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAWThe superhero/lawyer for cartoon characters is called to defend Shaggy and Scooby, who have been arrested on drug charges.
Mon, January 6
9:00 FOX JOE MILLIONAIREDebut! A poor construction worker tricks 20 babes into thinking he’s rich. Let the public humiliation begin!
Tues, January 7
8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYERIn order to beat the Ubervamp, Buffy and the Scoobs enlist the new slayers in “Buffy Boot Camp!”
10:00 FX THE SHIELDSeason Premiere! The crookedest cop around, Vic Mackey, is back for another season of drug deals, banging hookers, and in general, protecting the populace.
Wed, January 8
8:00 CBS STAR SEARCHDebut! The cheesiest talent show of them all returns, hosted by Mr. Cheesy McCheeserson himself, Arsenio Hall!
9:00 ABC THE BACHELORETTEDebut! The tables are turned when a contestant from The Bachelor gets to humiliate a group of horny men.