THURSDAY, MAY 27 8:00 SCIFI BOA VS. PYTHON–Movie (2004) Two gigantic snakes slither toward each other for one final battle. (SighhhhhÉ I love homoerotica.) 9:00 PBS FRONTLINE How MTV and corporations have ruined the music industry, and how illegal downloading is the best thing since canned peas.
FRIDAY, MAY 28 8:00 FX THE EDGE–Movie (1997) It’s playwright David Mamet at his worst in this hilariously cheesy story of Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins being chased around Alaska by a bear. 10:00 A&E INSIDE THE PLAYBOY MANSION A guided tour of Hugh Hefner’s bachelor pad including his crushed red velvet bedroom and the famous “Spooge Grotto.”
SATURDAY, MAY 29 8:00 OXY DAZED AND CONFUSED–Movie (1993) A funny peek at teens growing up in 1976 Austin, Texas. Starring Parker Posey, Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey, and more! 9:00 MTV FAKING THE VIDEO Six production assistants think they’re working on a real video, when in fact they’re getting punk’d! WaitasecondÉ this show sounds familiarÉ
SUNDAY, MAY 30 7:00 VH1 FOOTLOOSE–Movie (1984) When a Chicago teen (Kevin Bacon) moves to a small town, his foot becomes disjointed, giving him advanced dancing abilities. 9:00 CBS TOMORROW NEVER DIES–Movie (1997) James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) teams up with sexy Michelle Yeoh to kick the ass of a rich guy who wants to start World War III!
MONDAY, MAY 31 8:00 FOX THE O.C. Whoopee! Back to back episodes of my fave teen drama–including the one where Summer takes her shirt off.
TUESDAY, JUNE 1 8:00 FOX SUMMER MUSIC MANIA Live performances from Ludacris, J-Kwon, and Rooney (who I only like because they performed on The O.C. )! 8:00 WB SUMMERLAND Debut! An ambitious fashion designer is forced to take care of three orphans–waitafreakin’ second! That sounds just like that new crappy Kate Hudson movie!
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2 10:00 ABC THE ULTIMATE LOVE TEST Debut! Apparent masochists test their loving relationships by keeping one partner at home while the other is sent to a syphilis resort in Mexico.