Welcome to day two of the most important poll you will ever take: Deciding what is the “Best Xmas/Holiday Song Evarrrr!” Yesterday, we voted on best “Secular” song (Still wanna vote? Click here now!!!!), and today we’ll be deciding which is the holiest of all “Religious/Super Old-Timey” numbers. But first? THE RULES!
Starting yesterday and through Friday, I’m breaking all Xmas songs down to their TOP TEN in each of the following categories (I’ll decide what the top ten is. If you don’t like it, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below.): SECULAR (Non-religious stuff written before 1970-ish, and after 1900-ish), RELIGIOUS/SUPER OLD-TIMEY (Stuff glorifying god and/or Jesus or written pre-1900), ANIMATED (Songs either written for, or used in, animated holiday specials—yes, Rudolph and Frosty will be included here, rather than in “secular,” and if you don’t like it, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below), and COMMENTER’S CHOICE (Stuff you think should have been included in the top tens of previous lists AND/OR cool original songs—not versions of existing songs—like Chuck Berry’s Run, Run Rudolph, or George Michael’s “Last Christmas [I Gave You My Heart]”.)
Every day you’ll vote for the best song in that category, and on Friday we’ll put the TOP TWO vote-getters from each category into one HOLIDAY MEGA-POLL, vote on that, and VOILA! We’ll have the “BEST XMAS SONG EVARRRRR!!” (If you don’t like the way I’m running this, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below.)
OKAY! Ready to vote for best “religious/old-timey Xmas/Holiday song”? (I have all the following songs listed below the jump with musical links, if you need a memory jog!) OH! But first…
A special NOTE FROM HUMPY*: “Complaints? I am ill-prepared to give a shit.”
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Carol of the Bells
Silent Night
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
Deck the Halls
O Holy Night
The First Noel
The Twelve Days of Christmas
Joy to the World
O Come All Ye Faithful
Wut?
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen kicks all these other songs asses and even says God in the title, so it should totally win. You suck, Humpy.
The Twelve Days of Christmas is, of course, the unimpeachable version by John Denver and the Muppets.
I’m sure most of us here have taken more important poles than this one.
@ Dismay
LEARN… TO… READ. (Also, see NOTE FROM HUMPY*)
@ Monica Lewinsky
LEARN… TO… SPELL. (Also, see NOTE FROM HUMPY*)
WHRE THE FUKNG SHUT IS LITL DRUMR BOUI?
Hark the herald angels shout
Three more days ’til we get out!
Three more days ’til we are free
From this penitentiary!
Joy to the world
The teacher’s dead!
We barbecued her head!
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty!
And round and round it goes,
And round and round it goes,
And ROUND and ROUND and ROUND IT GOES!
@ Graham
I know you know how to read. Look for it tomorrow in the “ANIMATED” category! (I realize my methods are inscrutable.)
WHERE IS THAT FAHOO FORAY SONG THE TOWN SINGS AT THE END OF THE GRINCH? I NOMINATE THAT! IT’S VERY PRETTY.
ALSO, IS NOW THE TIME I ALSO NOMINATE EASY-E’S MERRY MOTHERFUCKIN’ XMAS?
That “Carol of the Bells” and “12 Days of Christmas” have gotten any votes at all indicates that Blogtown readers have evil, annoying taste in music.
Bah.
@ TSW
I shall not be trolled. Happy holidays, my friend.
Too late, Steve!
Thanks. You, too.
(that Grinch song really should be on the list. It’s called “Welcome Christmas.”)
Where’s Little Drummer Boy?
Why are you guys wrong all the time? Try harder.
Do you have choices that aren’t so Jesusy?
Humpy, I think Monica spelled it right. Think about it.
@6, 7:
Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an’ Kalamazoo!
Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!
Don’t we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don’t love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
and:
Good King Sauerkraut, look out! On your feets uneven
– Walt Kelly
@randyzpdx
You’re worse than the clap.
@ujfoyt
Despite my choice of user-names, I think my single-entendre was just too subtle for Humpy.
Sorry, I’m not used to looking for subtlety around here. FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.
Where’s “Jesus Up Your Ass!” by Metallica?
WTF DOODS where’s What Child is This???
I can read but I don’t really give a shit about the fact Steve doesn’t give a shit, so that’s not going to stop me from pointing out that “Christmas Time Is Here” should be added to the animated list if it’s not in there already (in addition to “Little Drummer Boy” and Welcome Christmas”).
Also, “Wonderful Christmastime” should be added to the commenter’s choice list.
“I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” …