Ke$ha’s new video for her unfortunately named song “Blow” leaked all over the interwebs today, and… who’s gonna clean it up?!? What you have here is your basic Ke$ha thoughtless club banger—though it does co-star James Van Der Beek (Dawson’s Crack) who I am not sick of yet, and unicorns getting shot by rainbow laser beams. Here’s what I learned from this video:
1) Ke$ha needs to wash her face. Desperately.
2) I don’t think she’s quite as unlikeable as everyone hopes she is—but then, I’m a good person who always looks for the best in people.
3) I do like a video that shoves a unicorn’s head through a glass coffee table.
4) Ke$ha has a “street team.” I WANT A STREET TEAM!
5) Ke$ha’s name should always be pronounced, “Kay-dollar sign-HA!”
6) Ezra disagrees with me about this, but I think Janelle Monáe’s pants look funny, and she should change them. (The previous line item has absolutely nothing to do with Ke$ha, James Van Der Beek, or unicorns—though it needed to be said.)
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
“Like.”
God, she’s like a dirty Britney.