Look, I don’t want to start any turntable turf wars—but this DJ makes all your DJing look like shit. Your DJing is like this: “Durrrrrrrrrrrrrr… snore.” His DJing is like, “BING-BING-BAM, BAM-BAMMY-BAM, BING-BING-BAM, BAM-BAMMY-BAM!!” So yeah, sorry… but I’m not hiring you for my nephew Jacob’s Bar Mitzvah. Not while this DJ lives.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
marijuana is a hell of a drug.