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I should get the tickets because:
1. I invented a new word today: B’Jay (rhymes with bidet, or Australian, G’day) and it is a fancy and/or French BJ.
2. It’s Columbo day and I love me some Peter Falk.
3. I’ll use my food stamps to buy a bunch of lobsters and free them into the Willamette if I win
If you give me the tickets, I will eat enough pixy stix to later vomit rainbows.