ARGHHHH!!! Hulk FURIOUS!! Why? Because right after Hulk donate $17 of hard-earned Hulk money to puny Democrat president candidate Jay Inslee, puny Jay Inslee DROP OUT OF RACE!
Hulk disappointed for two reasons! 1) Hulk put all Hulk eggs in puny Inslee’s basket—but when puny Inslee quits, Hulk not get eggs back?!? 2) Puny Inslee was best “green” candidate—which mean puny Inslee ONLY candidate looking out for Hulk! Now Hulk have to spend hours scraping “Puny Inslee for President” sticker off recumbent bike!
Also! Now Hulk need new candidate—which am not easy! Everybody have opinion for Hulk, especially “so-called” “friends” the “Avengers”! Here who they support:
Iron Man Drunk Tony Stark: Tony Stark is mean drunk and rich capitalist, so him vote for Trump. UGH!! Drunk Tony Stark also laugh at Hulk and ask Hulk how Hulk vote if Hulk can’t fit in voting booth! (APPARENTLY Drunk Tony Stark never hear of vote-by-mail!) ARGGH!! Hulk hate Drunk Tony Stark!!
Hawkeye: Hawkeye am Bernie bro, of course. (Hulk eye-roll!) When Hulk tell Hawkeye that Hulk like puny Inslee, Hawkeye scream at Hulk on Twitter for two hours about how Hulk is “conspiring with the DNC against Bernie!!” Wow Hawkeye! You really win Hulk over! (That sarcasm. Hulk mean opposite!)
Captain America: Cap say him torn between Beto O’Rourke and Amy Klobuchar for who “best represents the values of Middle America.” WHAT? Middle America put Trump in White House!! HULK SMASH WHITE HOUSE! HULK SMASH MIDDLE AMERICA!!
Black Widow: Black Widow say Elizabeth Warren have “thoughtful populist platform” and “actual strategies for effective governance”—but WAIT!! Black Widow am FORMER RUSSIA DOUBLE-AGENT!! Nice try, Black Widow-bot!
Ant-Man: Ant-Man say he vote for Andrew Yang. ANDREW YANG?? Him base smaller than Ant-Man! HA! Hulk good at scathing political humor.
Thor: Thor think HIM should be president, because Thor once All-Father of the Ten Realms! But when Hulk ask Thor for Thor birth certificate, Thor get nervous and run away! Maybe because... oh, Hulk don’t know... THOR BORN IN ASGARD?? Have YOU seen Thor birth certificate??
Now Hulk don’t know who Hulk vote for! NO ONE represent Hulk or care about Hulk. (Sniff. Like usual.) But wait! If Hulk can’t have “green” puny Jay Inslee... then Hulk write-in puny 2016 “green” candidate Jill Stein! HA! Good luck getting re-elected now, puny Trump! If anyone can spoil election, it her!
