RYAN ALEXANDER-TANNER ARGHHHH!!! Hulk FURIOUS!! Why? Because right after Hulk donate $17 of hard-earned Hulk money to puny Democrat president candidate Jay Inslee, puny Jay Inslee DROP OUT OF RACE! Hulk disappointed for two reasons! 1) Hulk put all Hulk eggs in puny Inslee’s basket—but when puny Inslee quits, Hulk not get eggs back?!? 2) […]
The Incredible Hulk
Posted inComedy
One Hulk’s Opinion: Hulk SMASH Puny Jay Inslee!
ARGHHHH!!! Hulk FURIOUS!! Why? Because right after Hulk donate $17 of hard-earned Hulk money to puny Democrat president candidate Jay Inslee, puny Jay Inslee DROP OUT OF RACE! Hulk disappointed for two reasons! 1) Hulk put all Hulk eggs in puny Inslee’s basket—but when puny Inslee quits, Hulk not get eggs back?!? 2) Puny Inslee […]
Posted inComedy
Remembering 2018: Election Results from the Incredible Hulk
RYAN ALEXANDER-TANNER [Wow. The Mercury wrote A LOT of stuff in 2018, and here’s a special guest column that we think is worth remembering from May 16, 2018.—eds] Hulk have question: AM PUNY PORTLANDERS GONE STUPID? Hulk under impression puny humans know how newspapers work! But apparently Hulk have to remind puny dummies: Newspapers—in particular […]
Posted inComedy
Hulk Have Bone to Pick with Puny Portlanders About Election!
RYAN ALEXANDER-TANNER Hulk have question: AM PUNY PORTLANDERS GONE STUPID? Hulk under impression puny humans know how newspapers work! But apparently Hulk have to remind puny dummies: Newspapers—in particular Hulk column—tell puny humans how to vote (them called “endorsements”) AND THEN PUNY HUMANS VOTE FOR WHO HULK SAY! Because if puny humans vote opposite of […]
Posted inPolitics
One Hulk’s Opinion: Election Results from the Incredible Hulk
Hulk have question: AM PUNY PORTLANDERS GONE STUPID? Hulk under impression puny humans know how newspapers work! But apparently Hulk have to remind puny dummies: Newspapers—in particular Hulk column—tell puny humans how to vote (them called “endorsements”) AND THEN PUNY HUMANS VOTE FOR WHO HULK SAY! Because if puny humans vote opposite of what Hulk […]
Posted inComedy
One Hulk’s Opinion: Hulk Make More Election Endorsements, Okay?
Ryan Alexander-Tanner Hulk admit it: Hulk pretty frustrated right now! Why? Puny humans’ negative reaction to Hulk’s election endorsements last week! Hulk thought electing political newcomers like super cute Emma Stone, Daniel Craig, and celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay would be shakeup stodgy Portland establishment need. But apparently Hulk’s out-of-box thinking not appreciated! Apparently puny humans […]
Posted inPolitics
One Hulk’s Opinion
More Editorial Endorsements from the Incredible Hulk
More editorial endorsements from the Incredible Hulk.
Posted inComedy
One Hulk’s Opinion
Election Endorsements from the Incredible Hulk
As puny human know, Hulk VERY busy with VERY famous and popular movie star career! (Avengers: Infinity War—MAYBE YOU HEAR OF IT?) But even though Hulk very famous and popular, Hulk not forget puny Portlanders and their stupid little cow-town election no one care about! So Hulk here with Hulk 2018 Election Endorsements! Yes, Hulk […]
Posted inComedy
One Hulk’s Opinion: Hulk Am Against “Nuclear Option”… Obviously
RYAN ALEXANDER-TANNER Hulk have question… AM GOVERNMENT GONE CRAZY?? Look, Hulk understand puny Democrats and Republicans not like each other. Hulk understand there going to be bi-partisan bickering. (Hulk and drunk Tony Stark bi-partisan bicker all the time.) That good sign of democracy in action! But when puny Republicans use “nuclear option” against Democrats? That […]
Posted inComedy
One Hulk’s Opinion: Hulk Stand in for Puny Sean Spicer
RYAN ALEXANDER-TANNER [Today on C-SPAN: The daily White House briefing. Standing in today for White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer is the Incredible Hulk.] HULK: [To room of shouting reporters] Gahh! Why puny reporters screaming already? Shut up or HULK SMASH!! [Crowd quiets] Okay, Hulk start with puny reporter in first row. JENNA JOHNSON, WASHINGTON […]
Posted inComedy
New Column!
One Hulk’s Opinion: Hulk Stand in for Puny Sean Spicer
Hulk take over for puny Sean Spicer at White House press briefing.