Hulk admit it: Hulk pretty frustrated right now! Why? Puny humans’ negative reaction to Hulk’s election endorsements last week! Hulk thought electing political newcomers like super cute Emma Stone, Daniel Craig, and celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay would be shakeup stodgy Portland establishment need. But apparently Hulk’s out-of-box thinking not appreciated! Apparently puny humans want same, boring, non-celebrity humans that no one ever heard of! BAH! Puny humans make Hulk sick. And sad! Sad for DEMOCRACY.
But fine! Puny humans want new endorsements, puny humans get new endorsements. Hope puny humans choke on them! (Not serious, but puny humans did hurt Hulk feelings.)
Vote puny Jeff Malone! Who Jeff Malone, puny human ask? Him work at Dairy Queen down street from Hulk house, and him in 10th grade at Cleveland High School. Hulk not have much more information—other than him a NOBODY (just like puny humans want) and works “position 3”—third person in charge—at DQ on Tuesday afternoons. Oh, is that too much experience for picky puny Portland humans? Oh! Hulk SOOO sorry! (Hulk being sarcastic, if puny human don’t know.)