KNIGHT CABBIE
By day I work for FLAG (Foundation for Law and Government). By night, I use my car KITT to pick up a few fares…just to make ends meet. Cruising down Broadway at 150 mph, KITT’s infra-red sensors detected a possible fare at the corner of Broadway and Ninth. I instructed KITT to deactivate the SPM (Super Pursuit Mode) and engage emergency de-cceleration. It was a woman. And beautiful.
“North Philadelphia and Lombard,” she said after climbing in. “St. Johns?” I thought to myself. “Now what’s a pretty lady doing in that part of town?” KITT activated the boosters and within .2 seconds we were doing 60.
Dampening the afterburners, KITT pulled off Lombard onto Philadelphia. “You got enough money to pay the fare…right, little lady?” I asked her. She was annoyed. “Of course I do.” KITT’s vocal microprocessor turned to its lowest setting. “Michael,” he whispered, “Onboard surveillance X-ray indicates the young lady in back only has $11.28–this barely covers the fare, much less a tip.”
“Activate Passive Laser Restraint System!” I yell…but not soon enough! The lady heard KITT, and was out the door and making for the St. Johns Bridge! The only way to stop her was to jump the river. KITT protested. “Michael…turbo boost power is not capable of…” “Just do it!” I yelled, as the igniter and thrust kicked in. Flying through the air, I added, “Release grappling hook!” The hook shot out from the hood, winding around the frame of the bridge, landing us hard right in front of the fare jumper.
“Going somewhere?” I smirked. The lady passed over the $11.28, as well as her gold watch, before walking away in humiliation. I smiled at KITT. “That wasn’t very ‘fare’ of her, was it?” “Really, Michael…” KITT said, “Your attempts at humor are so… pedestrian.” Ha! Ha! Yeah, we had a good laugh about that one.