This morning I tried to fix my toaster, but accidentally gouged my arm with a screwdriver. There’s—there’s so much blood. The blood won’t stop. What should I do?—Marilyn Eidelmann, 54, Beaverton
Ouch, Marilyn! On one hand, I’m tempted to say you should do something very quickly—maybe put pressure on the wound and have a friend drive you to the ER—because holy cow, this sounds super-duper serious! On the other hand, human bodies really are remarkable things, so maybe it will just heal on its own or something? Good luck!
Earlier this month, I learned my wife has been cheating on me for 10 years. I will never forgive her and I will never be happy with her again. Should I leave her, or is this just what my life is like now?—Ben Preston, 32, Northwest Portland
Ben, I’m so sorry—this sounds awful. Unfortunately, I can’t give you an answer. While some would encourage you to find happiness elsewhere, I think it’s very valid to point out that staying with your wife is also a thing that you could do. In these complicated times, we must carefully weigh each option, even when one of them is clearly terrible and will obviously only lead to pain and suffering. Good luck!
Using several items from Home Depot, along with one or two ingredients acquired through less traditional means, I have constructed an explosive device that will kill and maim a great number of people. I’m considering setting it off in a busy location. Should I?—Anonymous
Geez! You guys are really bringing the tough questions today! I guess… maybe don’t set it off? Seems like it would be bad if you did, right? Yeah. Definitely bad! Don’t do it! Then again… it does sound like you put a lot of time into this project, and it’d be a shame to let all that work go to waste. Man! I am having such a hard time deciding! Maybe…. Hmm. Wait! Wait! I know! I have an answer! Here it is: Do you have any more information? Can you tell me more? Maybe that will help me decide? For now, I’m going to wait to make up my mind. Good luck!