HI. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez. You
are wrong about the following things:
Eggnog: You’re wrong. It’s gross.
Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” is the best holiday song: Wrong. It’s “Jingle Bell Rock” as sung by the cast of Mean Girls.
Hipster Santa: I’ll allow it. (Why should Santa have to conform to your outdated stereotypes?)
Christmas cards: Wrong. No one wants to open their mailbox and see your face.
Ugly Sweaters: You were wrong then, you are wrong now.
“Jack Frost Nipping at Your Nose”: Jack Frost better get the fuck away from my nose.
Spending time with family during the holidays: In what universe is this not a wrong idea?
Chanukah: Wrong. It’s spelled “Hanukkah,” old-timer.
Advent calendars: Please. You don’t even know what an “advent” is.
Candles for gifts: I love this idea.
Baby Jesus: Meh. I’ve seen cuter virgin births.
It’s a Wonderful Life is the best Christmas movie: Sure, if you’ve never seen Die Hard.
Die Hard is the best Christmas movie: Ugh, please. Now you’re just being fashionably ignorant.
Candy canes: Stale.
Gift cards: Lazy.
Peacock Lane: This was a good use of someone’s time and energy.
White Christmas: Check your privilege, honky.
Ice skating: You’re wrong, because you suck at ice skating, and you know it.
Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas: It’s actually really good.
Kissing underneath the mistletoe: Wrong, unless it’s with your boss, or someone else’s husband.
Bars that close on Christmas: Ohhhh, so wrong.
Atheists: Christmas rules, atheists drool.
eggnog is the best
Presents are people;)
Unless y’all are being facetious, you’re wrong about Peacock Lane, it’s just gross.
Unless y’all are being facetious? Hee hee, ho ho, chuckling warmly.
The best Christmas song is “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses.
^^^ You are wrong. It’s “Father Christmas” by The Kinks.
^^^upvoted both of you because they are both great Christmas songs.
Gift cards are the best. I love to pick out my own gift.