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In case youre not feeling insignificant enough, check out this new photo of a black hole!
In case you're not feeling insignificant enough, check out this new photo of a black hole! Courtesy Event Horizon Telescope

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Said the air is thick, it's smelling right. So you pass to the left, then you sail to the right. LET'S GO TO PRESS.


• Let's kick off with some positive news: In the past two weeks, the number of coronavirus vaccines that have been delivered to Oregon pharmacies from the federal government have almost doubled from 24,000 doses per week to more than 44,000. Meanwhile, 20 Oregon counties (most on the east side of the state) say they have fully vaccinated previously eligible groups and will now be able to move ahead and vaccinate vulnerable groups like farmworkers and the houseless.

• The Multnomah County Board of Commissioners has appointed the ACLU's Andrea Valderrama to serve as the newest lawmaker representing East Portland's District 47 in the Oregon Legislature, thereby replacing Rep. Diego Hernandez who investigators found to have created a hostile workplace for women at the capitol. Our Alex Zielinski has more!

• The City of Portland is refusing to produce a plan showing how the police will properly report and investigate use of force, which may prompt the Feds to issue a formal declaration of non-compliance. (The cops refusing to be transparent and hold themselves accountable for their actions? WHY I NEVER.)

• According to police, the man who struck and killed a pedestrian with his car near the St. Johns Bridge on Friday may have done so intentionally after an earlier altercation.


• Following on the heels of Monday's mass shooting at a Colorado supermarket that left 10 dead, it's important to remember that while there may have been fewer massacres of this sort during 2020, last year was the deadliest year for gun violence in decades, killing a mind-boggling 20,000 people.

• Meanwhile Biden and Democrats are pushing for more gun legislation, but Republicans (and even some Dems) could make that a impossibility. And yet? Even a discussion about the necessity of tighter gun restrictions results in even more cowards buying guns.

• New video obtained by the New York Times show two Capitol domestic terrorists attacking Officer Brian Sicknick (who later died from his injuries) with dangerous bear spray.

• Second batch of stimmies coming today: If you haven't received your $1,400 of Biden bucks yet, don't worry. The IRS said the second batch of stimulus checks should show up in bank accounts today. The check could show up in the mail, or as a prepaid debit card.

• Today Senate Democrats are pushing the House's huge overhaul of voting rights in an effort to stop GOP-led states across the nation from keeping voters away from the ballot box (while keeping themselves in office).

• Beloved actor George Segal (Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and various TV dads) has died at the age of 87.


• HELLO, STONERS! You will be pleased to know that SPLIFF—the short flick film festival about cannabis and all things "stoned"—is kicking off April 16-24 and you can get your tickets NOW. (So hurry up before you forget... because you know you will.)

• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: Lots o' clouds today with scattered showers and high of 47!

• And finally, I'm going to plow through this Wednesday like....