Get your duct tape out of our face. We’re camping out tonight, aiming for the 5-700 block on SW Broadway, depending on who’s there first.
SCHEDULE: Missing my “cigar appreciation hour,” between 1:30 and 2:30, but otherwise, comprehensive…
Matt Davis was news editor of the Mercury from 2009 to May 2010. More by Matt Davis
Cigar appreciation hour would conflict with the pictures of kitties. I vote that the cigars stay missing.
Hey You!
Get up.
You can’t sleep there. Is that a tent? Thats a camping ordinance violation. And here is a sit lie warning.
Say, what’s that? A Cigar hanging off the edge of the curb? That’s a reckless burning charge right there. Right, put your hands on your head – you’re busted.
Wait! Is that duct tape? That’s a criminal mischief in the third degree charge. You are making me do a lot of paperwork. You just earned yourself a trip to the jail. Let me just search you and…. ahah! A container of alcohol that has previously been opened! Now you are excluded from Pioneer square AND gotten a new misdemeanor charge.
The homeless liberation front is conducting a protest in the same area at the same time. Many of the protesters are homeless and cannot afford their own booze, pot or heroin.
It would be deeply apprieciated if folks would bring enough to share. Also bathrooms will be at a premium so we recommend hard booze instead of beer so people don’t have to pee as much.