Good Morning, News!

Snipers fired upon a convoy of United Nations inspectors heading to the site of a reported chemical weapons attack in Syria—briefly forcing the team to retreat before starting out again. “This is the effect of chemicals,” a doctor treating patients the village told an inspector.

While Western Europe and the United States figure out if they should add their bombs to the Syrian civil war, Russia—Syria’s main arms dealer—has warned everyone about potential violations of international law.

Oh, and now Syria’s government, even though it’s struggled for two years to hold off poorly armed rebels, has vowed it won’t be an “easy” target and that it would spread “chaos” around the globe. (Uh… which it kind of already has.)

Edward Snowden’s “surprise” Moscow trip might not have been much of a surprise at all. A newspaper says the NSA leaker spent some living at Russia’s Hong Kong consulate before flying to Moscow for asylum.

National Security Agency analysts, probably more often than anyone knows, have abused their massively invasive powers to jealously spy on people they’ve been doing it with.

Israeli forces, looking for a suspected militant, shot dead three Palestinian refugees—allegedly in self defense. The raid has dampened enthusiasm for newly resumed peace talks.

Egypt’s soldiers, apparently uncomfortable with having been made to shoot dead hundreds of fellow Muslims—protestors irate over a coup that cast out the Muslim Brotherhood—are now being fed propaganda reminding them of their religious duty to serve the state.

A government report, from a now-dead arm of the American drug war apparatus, purports some 1,000 U.S. cities battling, in shape or another, the activity of Mexican cartels. The only problem? Cops in many of those cities, and other government analysts, say the stat is overhyped bunk.

Yosemite’s calamitous “Rim Fire” is now threatening thousands of homes after putting the squeeze on some of the hydroelectric stations powering the city of San Francisco.

A reported HIV case in Southern California’s porn industry has been confirmed, and now the stars are wringing their hands and the moralists are moralizing.

The line for the Portland Spirit stood in as the scene of Portland’s latest gang shooting—with three people injured Saturday while waiting for a late-night river cruise. The Spirit’s operator is reviewing its security protocols.

Miley Cyrus wins. Because she’s going to be on TV all morning. And because she’s rich. And famous.