The iPhone video of Wednesday’s shooting has been leaked. This is a VIDEO OF A POLICE SHOOTING: warning, this is pretty intense.

Some Indonesian militants captured in recent police raids were apparently planning to kill their old friend Barry from socialist muslin school.

Police have begun shooting on protesters in Thailand.

NBC is reportedly pulling the plug on Law & Order. Just the original, though. Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Law & Order: Should we come up with a new idea or just keep going with this one?…. are all safe.

The spill in the Gulf Coast is way worse than BP told us. Wait, we were getting our numbers from BP? Also, the government has apparently given up on regulating off-shore drilling. Awesome.

According to info from the Cannes festival, where people seem to be having a lot of fun, Naomi Watts is slated to star as Marilyn Monroe in an upcoming film. The biopic will be based on Blonde, a controversial book in which Marilyn blows JFK while he’s on the phone with Castro.

Rep. Michele Bachmann, of “don’t fill out your census” fame, got her website hacked, causing viruses to be downloaded on the computer machines of those who visited the site yesterday.

An Idaho congressional candidate’s website is full of plagiarisms from other candidate’s and congresspeople’s websites, including a section called “my roadmap legislation.”

The Oregonian tracked down ousted Police Chief Rosie Sizer in her modestly decorated living room, where she sat on a couch with no shoes on.

And finally, for your consideration, this truly troubling video of a cat suckling air.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=WLveMNQ9U9w%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

35 replies on “Good Morning, News!”

  3. GOOD MORNING ANGELA, OFF TO A BAD START I SEE.

    YOU BETTER POST CUTE ANIMAL VIDEOS ASAP.

    GOOD MORNING HUMPY, GOOD MORNING GRAHAM.

  11. SORRY AND I HAVE BEEN EXPOSED AS ALMOST FOYTISHLY IGNORANT OF INTERNET MEMES. FOR SHAME.

    @ ANGELA: IS THAT STEVE PUNCHING YOU IN THE CHIN IN YOUR PICTURE? Y { } N{ }

    HE DOES THAT.

  15. GOOD MORNING ANGELA. TIP #1 FOR EMPLOYMENT AT THE MERCURY: KICK SOMEONE’S ASS THE FIRST DAY OR BECOME SOMEONE’S BITCH. LIKE, SAY, EZRA’S.

  16. @ANGELA: THANKS! WE’LL BE GREAT FRIENDS. ALSO, LISTEN TO BRONCH. GO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EZRA, IT WON’T BE TOUGH AND IT WILL ASSERT YOUR DOMINANCE OVER THE PACK.

  19. ALSO: MATT DAVIS LIKES HIS O’DOULS AT ROOM TEMPERATURE BECAUSE HE IS BRITISH AND THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO CONSUME BEVERAGES PROPERLY LIKE A TRUE RED-BLOODED ICE-COLD-COORS AMERICAN.

    AMERICA.

  21. Welcome Angela. I hope you have a thick skin. And listen to what Sarah tells you, as I think she has grown (as a reporter) tremendously. As an aside, I REALLY like the Lille ads.

  22. GOOD AFTERNOON I AM UNEMPLOYED AND TEND TO WAKE UP AROUND NOW.
    HEADLOCK ON EZRA WILL WIN EVERYONE OVER-ESPECIALLY WITH PICS OF THE AFTERMATH.

  25. ujfoyt concludes: “As an aside, I can’t help but notice that you’re a female, Angela, and but then I also noticed that the women in the Lille ads are female, as well. I dunno, just thought I’d point that out. luvin’ the internet today. btw, I’m old and I say stuff.”

    /fanfic

  26. “As an aside I like near naked young women. Would you like to be such a young woman, Angela? I mean, I realize you are here to work and use your brain, but I can’t help but be distracted by your lady parts. That is probably your fault. But,as I mentioned, I am old and I can say stuff like that.”

    /Ujifoyt fanfic

  30. Kiala and Rom, I did not mean to insinuate anything with my remark about the Lille ads. You guys are reading way too much into what I say.

  31. Or we’re just making jokes based around the fact that you quite often manage to bust out with some kind of tasteless comment (see, for example, a couple posts up, the one about Sauvie Island).

  32. You make a LOT of comments about me, in sexual situations, in particular.

    Please to stop or we will be forced to write more Ujifoyt Fanfic.

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