The President of the United States is encouraging citizen to rebel against their state governments. WOW. That's new! Credit: Twitter
The President of the United States is encouraging citizen to rebel against their state governments. WOW. Thats new!
The President of the United States is encouraging citizen to rebel against their state governments. WOW. That’s new! Twitter

Here’s your daily roundup of all the local and national news about COVID-19. (Like our coverage? Please consider donating to the Mercury to keep it comin’!)

• As of today, Oregon’s total number of COVID-19 cases is 1,785, with the total death toll at 70. 36,321 people have been tested.

• Gov. Brown announced the state will waive the one week waiting period that unemployed workers must endure before they’re eligible for benefits, which could provide more than $100 million in addition money for jobless Oregonians. The change will be retroactive for those who have previously applied for benefits.

• A whole lot of Oregonians are still waiting for any unemployment benefits to hit their bank accounts, no thanks to the state’s very janky system for processing and distributing them, which is even jankier now that it’s completely overwhelmed.

• Meanwhile, in some states, dead people are getting federal stimulus checks.

• For the rest of the school year, high school students will no longer be on the letter grading system; they’ll either receive “pass or fail” designations, according to the Oregon Dept. of Education.

• Joining the ever-growing list of Portland institutions that have closed due to COVID-19, the Burnside Skatepark’s board of directors (yes, it has a board of directors)—after asking skaters to maintain a safe distance while defying death and physical injury with every attempted trick—has decided it’s best to just close down for the time being.

• One of the biggest job providers in Washington will be re-opening under new safety protocols: Boeing expects to bring back just under 30,000 employees to their airplane manufacturing plants by next week.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• First he claimed that he had “absolute power” to tell states when to reopen. Then he told state governors in a conference call that, actually, they had the power to call all the shots. And then Trump took to Twitter this morning and… apparently committed an act of sedition (or “treason” if you want to put a finer point on it) by encouraging his minions to rebel against their state governments. (Even in a time of near constant “holy shit” moments—this is a real “HOLY SHIT” moment.

• In related news, the 25th Amendment is, so far as anyone can tell, still in the Constitution, and still invokable by any official not currently stunned into docility by this onslaught of idiocy.

• Alarming headline of the day (in a day of alarming headlines): “At least 6,900 people in the U.S. living in or connected to nursing homes have died of the virus.”

• Health experts agree, if we want to reopen the country, then we have to significantly ramp up testing—but since Trump is too busy encouraging anarchy, don’t expect that to happen anytime soon.

• The US-Canadian border won’t open up anytime soon: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has said it’ll be a while before the border is opened back up to non-essential travel. However, when the border first locked down in March, officials said it would reopen on April 19. That’s not looking likely.

• Wuhan updates its death toll: New reporting and deaths outside of hospitals factored into Wuhan’s updated death count. The city, where the COVID-19 outbreak originated, raised its death toll by 50 percent and added 1,290 fatalities to the total. More than 4,600 died in the Hubei province.

• Mass virus testing at a Boston homeless shelter revealed that out of 397 people tested, 146 people tested positive. None of them had any symptoms.

• Taylor Swift’s “I Told You Guys I Wasn’t Lying about Kim and Kanye” Tour (Note: Not the actual name of the tour) has been postponed to 2021 by Miss Americana herself: “Fighting COVID-19 is an unprecedented challenge for our global community and the safety and well-being of fans should always be the top priority.”

• Need a laugh? Get your tickets PRONTO for the live stream edition of the I, Anonymous show on April 24! Check out the details and the KILLER lineup of comedians here!

• And if you’re looking for a fun AND FASHIONABLE way to support the Mercury, how about buying a Mercury “TP” T-shirt? But HURRY! They’re gone forever after today, Friday April 17!

• And finally, if you don’t believe America is about to slip into pure anarchy… watch this!

One reply on “Today’s Coronavirus News Roundup: Good Unemployment News, the Dire Need for More Testing, and Guess What? Trump is Inciting Open Rebellion!”

  1. I have a better idea: Liberate the United States! #TrumpforPrison2020

    And be sure to put him in a prison full of COVID-19 infected prisoners.

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