Good morning, Portland. Stop what you’re doing and consume these links, please.
ICYMI, an “Oregon man gave an out-of-town prostitute a primate named “Gooey” as a tip in exchange for sex. That’s on top of the Girl Scout Cookie money he paid her. Both the money and the primate were stolen from the pet store that the man owns.”
Drama in the campaign for an Oregon house seat:
In the race for the 44th District, someone is trashing incumbent Tina Kotek’s campaign platforms. A fraudulent voter guide began making its way to voters doorsteps that misrepresents what the Speaker of the Oregon House stands for. The fake voter guide shows Kotek is in favor reducing pension payments, prohibiting GMO food labeling and fighting the government on political participation.
If/when this comes out, it’ll be sweet:
Rasheed, Bonzi, Stoudamire team up for ‘Jail Blazers’ documentary https://t.co/G3BtMvH4cJ pic.twitter.com/KTxvJmvkhU
— The Oregonian (@Oregonian) April 23, 2016
C.J. McCollum joins Kevin Duckworth and Zach Randolph as the only Trail Blazers players to win the NBA’s Most Improved Player award. McCollum more than tripled his scoring average (20.8 points per game) and had also had career highs in field goal percentage, three-point field goal percentage, assists, and rebounds. Good for C.J.
A 17-year-old American, Christian Pulisic, who’s playing for one of the best soccer teams in Germany scored again today. He’ll be great.
Another dude catching a ball while holding a baby. One of these times, it’ll end poorly. Until then, it looks pretty badass:
VIDEO: Fan catches home run ball while holding infant https://t.co/TL400nT8Bx pic.twitter.com/qtoAKMmOi9
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) April 23, 2016
These dummies in the Ivy League: The Washington Post has a great story on a remote controlled tackling dummy that the Dartmouth football team uses.
Ok, sorry for all the sports links this morning. Here’s a Washington Post piece the ancestral home of Donald Trump: “This German village wants to be known for wine. Instead, it’s Trump — and ‘Drumpf.’“
The New York Times has a fun profile on Queen Elizabeth II’s party planner, her cousin Lady Elizabeth Anson, replete with some party planning tips from her. My favorite:
Seat all the bores together. “They don’t realize they’re the bores, and they’re happy,” she says. “It’s my biggest tip.”