We’ve achieved the weekend, Portland. Let us not go into it uninformed.
Looking to fence some of your many stolen goods? You’ve got one less food cart at which to do so, after cops busted the owner of a downtown Thai cart buying a hot iPad. [*Insert “iPad Thai” joke I just nauseated myself realizing might be possible*]
More sad news, from the late September crash that claimed the life of Commissioner Amanda Fritz’s husband Steve. His passenger at the time, a coworker at the Oregon State Hospital named Cary Fairchild, has also died.
You probably read, yesterday, about the pair of robbers who allegedly used a box cutter to force two 22-year-olds to strip naked on the Burnside Bridge. If not, read up, because it’s these kinds of notable, alarming things that can drive blanket policy toward “transients” in this town. (See: Last year’s skateboard attack on an elderly shopkeeper.)
I’m no doctor, but if you come to me feeling ill, and tell me you just got back from a whirlwind tour of Liberia, I’m going to assume Ebola. Which makes me a better doctor than real doctors in Texas. (You couldn’t afford me.)
Are the swelling, occasionally violent protests in Hong Kong getting better? Nope, and that could make for some awkward moments when President Obama travels to mainland China next month. Our nations, you see, have long avoided too much sticky conversation over so-called “human rights.”
Another horrific videotaped death at the hands of ISIS. This time it was British aid worker Alan Henning.
Your own womb: No longer a pre-requisite for giving birth. Now you can just get one from a friend.
Someone’s collected the e-mail addresses of a bunch of Harvard students. A golden networking opportunity, you might think, but this person skipped straight to death threats.
Today in polio quotes: “We are sad to announce that the number of polio cases is now all-time high in Pakistan.”
Water’s fine:
Now go out AND CRUSH THIS DAY WITH YOUR FAUXHAWK
The ISIS leaders must be stupid and delusional. Do they not understand what is about to be dropped on their heads? Keep be-heading people and pissing off more countries. Yeah, that’ll teach the infidels where the bear shit in the woods. NOT
Good doctors don’t assume a disease, they test for the disease.
Sorry, all the Ebola panic is too much for me, I need to get off the internet.