IT IS BLACK FRIDAY. THE WORSHIPPERS HAVE SET UPON THE TEMPLES. Local malls have been hosting hungry, thirsty, lusty crowds of bleary Oregonians, in what’s so far been an uninterrupted shopping bacchanalia, since before the dawn. That’s not been the case, however, in the malls and discount stores around Ferguson, Missouri—and several other burgs in the United States. Protesters have shown up in frenzied retail concourses and Walmart parking lots, actually making the proceedings a bit more dignified than usual. Remember, please, why the Founding Fathers died and rose again: DISCOUNT BLOODSPORT.
Tonight’s “Black Friday sale”-themed show at the Doug Fir has been canceled—canceled because nearly everyone who saw the flier for the party thought it was uncomfortably racist.
One of the police bureau’s “I am Darren Wilson” cops, Rob Blanck, has been placed on desk duty—maybe because he got into a screaming argument with a police commander, maybe Chief Mike Reese, during a roll call in which cops were warned about using their badges in inflammatory Facebook posts.
The real Darren Wilson, meanwhile, will never return to policing, his lawyer says. “There’s no way in the world he can go back.”
About the grand jury probing Michael Brown’s death… It’s been noticed that one of the assistant prosecutors leading the proceedings circulated an outdated, unconstitutional copy of Missouri’s law on when cops can use force. That old law, which grand jurors had for weeks, said it was legal for cops to shoot someone fleeing.
Oh, and if you didn’t see this from a couple of days ago. The Washington Post noticed some extreme—and extremely irregular—missteps in the initial criminal investigation of Brown’s death. Wilson drove himself back to the police station, washed off blood, and put his own gun into an evidence bag. Then? Medical examiners didn’t bother doing things like measuring the scene. Because it was obvious what had happened. Duh.
Who watched football yesterday? The NFL is basically a multibillion-dollar candy bowl for painkillers.
Ebola is grabbing hold of Sierra Leone, even in the face of a massive outpouring of assistance—unlike all the gains made in Liberia, which had formerly raged as a hotbed for the disease.
The growing long distances between abortion providers, in the face of restrictive new laws in the south, has activists raising money for women who otherwise couldn’t afford to make the trip.
Austin police shot a man to death last night—after, they said, he fired 100 rounds at various buildings downtown.
The people making money from Airbnb? Increasingly, it’s well-heeled professionals who’ve turned into a scientifically quantifiable business—not the charming dowagers and harried workers trying to make ends meet while making the best of their lives.
The Taliban haven’t gotten the memo that fighting season in Afghanistan is supposed to be over. It’s not over.
YOU’VE GOT TIME TODAY.
I love that the Oregonian reporter seems to think that it was an actual sale of stereotypical items that would occur at the Doug Fir rather than a flyer for a show.
You wascally wabbit.