Good Morning, News: Drowning in Legal Weed and the Blood of Democrats

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Where have you been, ’cause I never see you out. Are you hiding from me, yeah? Somewhere in the crowd? LET’S GO TO PRESS.

Well, that was an interesting night! Good news, bad news, and questionable news was the overriding theme in last night’s elections, but let’s quickly recap how it all shook out. Here are your winners, Oregon:
Governor John Kitzhaber, Jeff Merkley, No on 86 (allowing state debt for student financial aid), No on 88 (driver ID cards for immigrants), Yes on 89 (equal rights amendment), No on 90 (top-two primaries), Yes on 91 (marijuana legalization), and probably No on 92 (GMO labeling) which is only trailing by a scant two percent margin… so stand by on that. [UPDATE: It failed… barely, by 1.2%. Sheesh!]

There’s a great county map breakdown of how everyone in our state voted over here at the Oregonian… check it out! Here’s one of the most telling maps:

• Courtesy: Oregonian

DEAR GOD. (Good thing we spent all that time fighting for GMOs, right?) For a wrap-up of all the shenanigans that went down at last night’s election parties, be sure to check out our Election Night Live Blog here!

Now let’s take a peek at the bloodbath that occurred nationally: Republicans easily took back the Senate, and increased their numbers in the House. (GOP governors had a field day as well.) Why? A lot of reasons (many of which you can read in this article), but primarily because the GOP had one message and stuck to it: “A vote for us is a vote against Obama.”

So what does this all mean for 2016? It means to expect a lot of emboldened Republicans to step up to the presidential plate (especially Chris Christie), leaving Democratic hopes to rest heavily on the shoulders of Hillary Clinton.

And while we may be crying over the poor Democrats—let’s not forget about the potentially even bigger loss… for liberal women. Megan Carpentier for the Guardian makes this excellent point/warning:

The sisterhood [of voters] might be powerful, but it’s not clear that we’re all part of the same one. From our various perches in liberal enclaves, it’s easy to dismiss conservative-voting women (and conservative women politicians) as outliers – though it’s a little more difficult after tonight, between Joni Ernst in Iowa and Mia Love in Utah and others. But as women of the left, we dismiss women of the right at our own peril because it’s clear that they’ve figured out, far less clumsily, exactly how much to cede to the mainstream expectations of femininity in order to get ahead with both men and women.

Meanwhile in ballot land, both Oregon and Washington, DC legalized marijuana (in case you didn’t hear), Illinois, Arkansas, Nebraska, South Dakota all voted to raise the minimum wage, and while guns were met with new restrictions in Washington state, in Alabama, they voted to give one away with every Happy Meal. Because… ALABAMA.

But there was some good news from yesterday…
1) Did we mention legal marijuana?
2) The Blazers beat the Cavaliers, and…
3) BikePortland top blogger Jonathan Maus recovered his stolen bicycle in the craziest, luckiest way possible!

THERE IS HOPE, PORTLAND!

Now here’s what’s going on in your neck of the woods: Scattered showers today and tomorrow… but the sun returns this weekend!

THERE IS HOPE, PORTLAND!

And finally, check out the EVIL FUCKING CACKLE from new Iowa Republican senator (and pig castrator) Jon Ernst:

@WmSteveHumphrey She laughs like Stanley Tucci in the Hunger Games
— Tungsten Plating (@SeethingVortex) November 5, 2014