Credit: Samuel Corum / Getty News

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GOP Sen. Lamar Alexander to vote for no witnesses; watches helplessly as his legacy goes up in flames.
GOP Sen. Lamar Alexander to vote for no witnesses; watches helplessly as his legacy goes up in flames. Samuel Corum / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Let’s go! Right now is where you shine, I’m talking here and now, I’m talking here and now. LET’S GO TO PRESS.

In IMPEACHMENT NEWS: Today senators will vote on whether or not to call witnesses in Trump’s trial, and it’s almost certain the GOP will block them from testifying, even though people like John Bolton have crucial information to share. This is the GOP’s admission to the world that they are CORRUPT AS FUCK, and as soon as they vote to acquit Trump (which could very well be today), that will be our signal to do everything we can to flip the Senate and GET THEM OUT OF OFFICE.

Speaking of getting corrupt traitors out of office, here’s an interesting and inspiring story about suburban Democrats who are making it their business to push the GOP out of their states. “We are not going to stop until Republicans don’t even want to run candidates here,” one says. “We are going to make this place too blue to bother.”

Yesterday Chief Justice Roberts read aloud all of the Senators questions to the prosecution and defense—that is, all except the one from Senator Paul Rand who tried to sneak the whistleblower’s name into his question, because he is a corrupt turd.

Another Trump turd, lawyer Alan Dershowitz, presented an argument against impeachment that, if he had his way, would give the president unfettered, absolute power—wait, wouldn’t that be a dictatorship? Funny what some of Trump’s followers want.

Writer E. Jean Carroll, who has accused Trump of raping her, is demanding a DNA sample from the president to test and see if it matches the genetic material on her dress that she was wearing at the time of the assault.

I hope I’m alive to see this: “Stacey Abrams says she’ll be president by 2040.”

Meanwhile in CORONAVIRUS NEWS: 9,800 cases of the virus have been confirmed, and 200 people have died thus far. The US has advised against traveling to China, and Singapore has closed its doors to the country.

Britain is leaving the European Union today (AKA Brexit), and despite the many problems it will cause, the general feeling of the country is that they’re all over it, and want to move on.

Here’s your reminder that two Latina women (JLO and Shakira) will headline the Super Bowl halftime show this weekend. Apparently there’s going to be some kind of football game as well?

IN LOCAL NEWS: In the Jeremy Christian trial, the aunt of one of the murdered MAX riders testified that she talked to her nephew right before the stabbing, asking him to record Christian’s racist rant and turn it in to police rather than physically confront him. The prosecutors used this to show the victim’s state of mind before the attack, that he was not looking for a fight.

A Portlander has filed a complaint with the elections department claiming that council candidate Sam Adams has not lived in the city long enough to run for office. Our Alex Zielinski has more.

HEY… you love “love,” right? Then send the one you love a FREE Mercury readers valentine that we’ll print in the paper on Valentines Day!

Now let’s peer at the skies for the WEATHER: Possible shower this morning with a high of…. wait, what? 60 DEGREES?

And finally, can’t get out to see some art? Then LET ART COME TO YOU.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

4 replies on “Good Morning, News: GOP About to Bring Sham Trial to a Close; Fail to Realize This Will End Their Careers”

  1. I hope that this 45th US presidency is the end of the GOP, but their voters are intent upon enhancing corporate shareholder profits, raping the environment, and establishing a theocracy of male privilege, female subordination, and gay extermination. SEXY. Come November, we’ll find out what we’re made of.

  2. If you think this will end their careers then you aren’t really paying attention. A very large number of people (though not a real majority) support the crazy in the white house. They vote for these minions of his in the senate. Don’t be fooled again.

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