What did I tell you? WHAT DID I MOTHEREFFING TELL YOU?? Yep, I’m pretty sure it was ME who said, “Hey, better pay attention to this Justin Bieber kid, because pretty soon he’s gonna be taking over your world.” And once again? I WAS SOOOOOOO RIGHT! In fact, he’s not only taking over the world of pop music/culture, he’s rich and powerful enough to buy anything or anyone he wants! For example today, he chose to purchase the Funny or Die website, which he promptly renamed “Bieber or Die.”
This child frightens me, and yet? I shall willingly become his slave. You are the only anti-christ for me, Justin Bieber.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Wow… I’m pretty sure that was fantastic!