We all know how I feel about stupid, stupid babies, right? THEY’RE STUPID! However—what’s really irritating is when stupid, stupid parents enable their stupid, stupid baby’s behavior… like when the stupid, stupid baby in question picks up a DEAD SQUIRREL, and carries it around like a plush buddy—and the stupid fucking parents don’t do a stupid fucking thing about it!! OMG, YOU STUPID FUCKING PARENTS! I can almost see the fucking bacteria from that dead fucking squirrel swarming all over that stupid fucking kid! GAHHHH!! DROP THAT DEAD SQUIRREL, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!!

And put some clothes on.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9Nn0UkdDArM

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

3 replies on “Stupid, Stupid Baby: Umm… that Squirrel is DEAD, Stupid!!”

  1. That girl will have an amazingly robust immune system and will OUTLIVE US ALL! (Um…and not just because we’re old already.)

    *My* parents made me keep my head inside a beach ball for most of my childhood. Made me popular with the other kids, anyway.

  2. That girl is twisted. With capital T. The remark about her turning vegetarian made by her mom made her look pretty nagging.

  3. Quit making fun of my son’s 2025 trophy wife.

    My sister would have already skinned the squirrel and brought the meet into the kitchen at that age.

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