Well, we all know that Suri (the bitch) Cruise likes clothes and spending her parents money ($50,000 monthly allowance much?). And we also know she’s a total bitch (because I say so all the time), but did you guys know that she’s a total bitch to her mom!? I mean Katie kind of has it coming, and I hope she’s mean to her Dad as well, cause god knows he deserves it. But get a load of this: Katie told Elle Magazine this month about some of the little twat’s… I mean her daughter’s shopping habits.
On Suri’s shopping style: “The other day we came out of a store, and she said, ‘I want to go there,’ (I’m certain it was in a super bratty voice) pointing at another store quite a distance away. In that store was the dress that she wanted. I said, ‘Wow, Suri. You’re something. You picked that out from a football field away.’” (That something being a total twat.)
Katie also said this:
She’ll really tell me [what she thinks]. Like today I’m wearing brown suede pants, and she said, ‘I don’t like your pants.’ But then she’ll say, ‘You’ve got to wear these shoes.’ Or ‘That’s so pretty, Mom. Wear that.’ She’s got a great eye.
Okay Suri, you win this round because brown suede pants are obviously not a good idea. But your mom’s a dumbass—she had you didn’t she?—so of course she would make that mistake.
- Just Jared
- Whaaaa! Mommy won’t take off those awful pants, Daddy!
Suri’s got great legs. Is that a weird thing to say?
Is Tom wearing enhanced undies?
Kalia, yes that is very weird. And disturbing…but true.
I think this joke has run its course.
Ran it’s course a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago Sexmachine.
Suri either comes up as a total fashionista genius or as a total screwed up human being experiment.
Ladies, you’ve been reading Vogue Paris too much.
Note: This joke has NOT run its course until I SAY its run its course.
Sincerely yours,
Wm. Steven Humphrey
Justin Bieber Fan #1
Well, it’s nice to see that Marissa has found a subject about which she is so passionate that she continues to blog on it …at the old alt-weekly where she formerly worked. errr… interned. That’s commitment. …or a Labor Dept. violation.
@WSM: to your point, I say, “hasta la vista, buttfucker!”