Citizens of Portland: I regret to inform you that the internet has given birth to yet another tiring, thoughtless “Portland is dying” think piece—this one courtesy of KOIN news.
I can’t imagine that viewers were clamoring for such a story, since it’s been done (so terribly) before, but KOIN’s recent article “From Wonderful to War Zone: Portland’s Reputation Transformation”—posing the unasked-for question, “Is Portland Over?”—takes the trope to new and dizzying heights.
While each paragraph of “From Wonderful to War Zone” contains at least one problematic phrase—that title for starters!—I’m a busy guy, and I’ve got more important things to do than constantly swatting down wildly inaccurate opinion pieces from every uninformed ding-dong that comes down the pike. But to give you a quick idea of the pro-business slant this article takes, the story contains quotes from 14 people, 7 of whom are business owners (!!), four out-of-towners, two misinformed people, and one local mayor—whether he knows what he’s talking about is for you to decide. Interestingly not a single local homeless or social justice advocate was interviewed, even though the story hinges on homeless and social justice issues.
As you can guess, there’s A LOT of ridiculousness here—which is why I’m limiting this rebuttal to only 7 of the most egregiously stupid statements in KOIN’s article (of which there are oh-so-many). Buckle up! It’s gonna be fun.
1) “Everywhere you look, the City of Roses has become the city of trash and filth.”
This is THE VERY FIRST SENTENCE. Now if this story was clearly labeled as an “opinion piece” from yet another know-nothing, white business dude shaking his fist at the clouds while cursing the rising cost of potatoes… who would care? We’d all roll our eyes and move on with our lives. But nope! KOIN’s article is presented as actual “news,” which means they presumably believe that this wild first statement is solidly based in fact.
So let’s break it down, shall we?
“Everywhere you look, the City of Roses has become the city of trash and filth.” Everywhere? Okay… I’m looking outside right now… and I have to admit I’m not seeing a lot of trash and filth. However I do see a sweet young couple pushing their baby in a stroller, hunky gay guys riding a bicycle built for two, and my neighbor’s annoyingly manicured lawn and garden. No trash and no filth (unless you count my disgusting, unwashed, pollen-covered car).
There’s a good chance that at least 80 percent of the city’s residents are witnessing a somewhat similar scene outside their windows. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS KOIN TALKING ABOUT? Here’s the thing: KOIN and a lot of wealthy old-guard Portlanders don’t consider where you live to be “Portland.” To them, Portland consists solely of roughly one square mile (AKA the central business district) of downtown, because that’s where their money is made and their personal fortunes are (supposedly) being diminished. So falsely claiming that the entirety of Portland (all 145 square miles of it) has become a “city of trash and filth” is really insulting to my neighbor who takes great pride in his annoyingly manicured lawn.
One more quick thing about that deeply absurd sentence: True, there is more garbage in downtown Portland… certainly more than was found in previous non-pandemic years where much of the core wasn’t forced to suddenly close and stay inside for months, grinding city services to a halt. Weird how garbage might pile up!
Oops, sorry, one more quick thing about that deeply absurd sentence: Why does KOIN write “garbage AND filth”? Apparently “garbage” is not the same as “filth,” so do they mean the literal definition, which is “foul or disgusting dirt”? Or is it the more abstract meaning of “filth,” which is “moral impurity or obscenity”? If it’s the latter, then maybe they’re thinking of “filth” as less of a “it” and more of a “who.” And if that’s the case, I wonder “who” they are referring to when they say “filth”?
I just spent five paragraphs talking about the very first sentence. I promise I’ll be less wordy going forward.
2) “In the past year, peaceful protests have been hijacked by violence, city landmarks have been defaced and torn down and uncontrolled vandalism has forced the closure of businesses.”
Oh, brother. Okay… focusing on quick takedowns here. Bullet-point time!
• “Peaceful protests have been hijacked by violence….” True! If they’re talking about how in 2020 the Portland Police were documented using violence against peaceful protesters a whopping 6,000-plus times.
• “…city landmarks have been defaced and torn down….” Again, true! And I can imagine someone being very upset by this if they take pleasure in glorifying slave owners and championing white supremacy.
• “…uncontrolled vandalism has forced the closure of businesses….” Also true! Wait… they forgot to factor in the economic devastation of a once-in-a-century pandemic… so maybe NOT so true?
Look how verbally restrained I was that time! Bullet points are great.
3) “Much of the civil unrest starts and ends here,” said [Cameron’s Books & Magazines] owner Crystal Zingsheim. “Everyone sees the bookstore as the backdrop of Murderville USA and pretty much we’re just left to keep peace on our own.”
First of all, hat tips for the “Murderville USA” reference. It’s hilarious—even though St. Louis is actually the current “murder capital” of the nation. In fact, Portland didn’t even crack the top 60! (Up your murder game, Portland! You’re making KOIN look foolish.)
Anyway, using Cameron’s as a prime example of how “nightly violent protests” put a small local shop out of business is just a touch disingenuous, considering their building was sold out from under them in 2019, and the short-term lease they negotiated, so they could stay a bit longer, ran out in April—which didn’t have anything to do with protesters. (Unless maybe the landlord was antifa?)
Oh, and this just in: Portland has landed on the top 20 list for “Best Small Business Cities in America.” Not bad for Murderville, USA!
4) “The central business district—the heart of the city—is empty.”
BLECCH!! Again, this is how KOIN and the city’s richest see Portland. People who make the money are the “heart,” while people like you are… I don’t know… the foot? (Also, the downtown core is far from empty. I was at Nordstrom Rack last Sunday and it was so crowded that I was forced to buy my Calvin Klein mid-thigh boxer briefs online. Which I look fantastic in, btw.)
5) “’The media coverage of Portland with civil unrest and the pandemic unfortunately scared a lot of these [tourists] away and that means less money getting brought into the city,’ [commercial real estate broker Doug Bean] said.”
C’mon, I already wrote about this! Read the Mercury now and then, Doug!
6) “Imagine you’ve just picked up visitors at Portland International Airport. You get in the car to take a ride downtown. As you drive west down I-84, you see dozens of tents line both sides of the freeway.”
OH, THE HORROR! Dear friends, I still so fondly remember the pre-pandemic days, when a trip down I-84 meant seeing rolling, grassy hills, adorable children in knee-britches and pinafores dancing gaily, and winged, nude cherubs flying though the air, strumming harps and singing, “Welcome to Portland, the land of endless enchantment!” One day, Portland, as god as my witness, the once glorious and pristine I-84 shall regain its previous, and well-deserved title: “The heart of the city!”
7) “Downtown Portland needs life support, residents don’t feel safe, a humanitarian crisis is playing out on the streets and trash is literally piling up. It’s worth asking: is Portland over?”
Well, I would never deign to speak for all of Portland—but personally, I’m “over” hyperbolic, poorly written and researched articles that glorify businesspeople and demonize the homeless and anyone practicing their First Amendment rights. I’m also “over” the constant screams of “look at this trash” or “omigod, broken windows” being prioritized over holding an increasingly militarized police bureau accountable for their actions, or ignoring the racial inequity that continues to push people of color out of the city. And I’m especially “over” downtown business boosters like KOIN pretending that the pandemic is “over” and acting furious that the devastating problems caused by COVID haven’t already just magically disappeared.
Seriously, KOIN is acting like they fell asleep in 2017 in the middle of a Portlandia episode, and suddenly just woke up to demand, “What the FUCK have you people been doing during my nap??” Not that you’d know it from their article, but there are actually very smart people—from the public and private sector—diligently working on Portland’s houseless crisis right now. But sure, by all means, interview Portland “experts” like “Eileen, visiting from Florida.”
So… yeah. When it comes to stories like this, I’m over it too.
Spot on! I never thought I would become the kind of person who spends a lot of time writing angry letters to news stations, but I’ve sent KOIN my thoughts on a couple of their anti-homeless pieces recently. They recently ran a piece about garbage buildup along Foster, and their conclusions were the same as always: “Homeless people sure are a scourge, huh? We’ll be back with sports after these messages!”
Empathy is free, you yuppie scum.
Ugh I didn’t notice I’d used “recently” twice in quick succession. My morning, nay, my entire DAY is now ruined!
Hey Steven your reference to Portland being 60th in murders is from 2019 and murders have gone up since then quite a bit. You should update this article to be more accurate.
Fuck those guys at KOIN. I’ve been working hard to bring a new hotel in the Pearl out of the ground since 2019, a process that was interrupted by the pandemic. The amount of time I have to explain to existing and potential investors and lenders that no, Portland has not been destroyed is ridiculous. KOIN thinks they are helping apply pressure to City leaders to “DO SOMETHING” and not realizing that they are pouring gas on a small bonfire. What really gets me is precisely what you point out – that a lot of the conditions we see downtown today are due to the pandemic, not protests, crime, or homelessness.
Rightwing FOX-watchers from Molalla are TERRIFIED of downtown, and our vast army of realtors demands that something be done!
They got the Mayor they wanted, so what are they complaining about? Tell him, not us.
You ever see that cartoon of the dog and his house is burning down around him and he’s saying “this is fine”? That is the essence of this article.
Open your fucking eyes. Speaking of downtown, which is absolutely lined with tents and garbage and filled past capacity with homeless people, the majority of which clearly have mental health and/or drug problems, I also wonder where you Portland Mercury writers live. Because I live out on 122nd, and if you don’t think there is a problem with trash and homelessness and drug use and crime, then I invite you to come see our backyard, which has been swept multiple times in the past 6 months alone.
You can barely walk down the sidewalks in this part of town because they are blocked by tents and ramshackle huts. Nearly every corner has an “information wanted” poster for someone who was murdered. It’s disgusting. It’s sad. It’s a failure at every level of government. Despite the millions in tax dollars and empty promises Portland’s leaders have gifted us with.
The murder rate has skyrocketed. I don’t care if we rank 60th in murder. Wow, what a feather in our fucking cap! Everything in the KOIN report is objectively true. You can add in the pandemic and the police response, but at the end of the day, anyone who has lived in this city for any amount of time has seen it decay into a literal dumpster fire.
Sorry, that’s not the correct progressive response. Let’s attack the business owners, many of whom have simply had enough and packed up shop. And who can blame them. Why have stores downtown when you’re worried there will be violent riots and looting after every national news store? Let’s just pretend there are no homeless people or that they add a quirky nature to the city. Keep Portland weird, right?
God the Mercury is trash. I cannot even believe this woke, white tabloid masquerading as actual journalism is treated with any respect by Portland’s citizens. Just shut your eyes and whistle a happy tune while Portland crumbles around us.
This is fine, indeed.
Okay, the KOIN story is full of shit, but so is this article. That’s cool your front yard is clean by my neighborhood is so fucked right now.
This Opinion-Piece reads like it was written by an ignorant tweeny-bopper off her meds…whining and deflecting from facts. Does the Mercury actually pay this simpleton?
Uh-oh… looks like somebody posted a link on Nextdoor.
I understand your being beside yourself. Then again, I don’t see the Mercury doing their part. To act like the BLM crowd is on a mission other than to take a temper tantrum is folly. And the latest “stop the sweeps” folks aren’t any better.
If you have a complaint, great. Then come up with a workable solution. Defunding the police is not a plan. It’s an impossible goal designed so people can forever take out their hate. Neither is enabling large homeless camps. In both cases we need some type of intermediary organization that provides social and vocational training for the “victims” – and I use the term loosely – while making the “perpetrators” accountable.
Believe it or not it’s not wise to mouth off to the police any more than it’s ok to lean on a person’s neck. We need to identify the few bad cops because they won’t.
And it’s not good to allow people to do drugs in tents next to a park with kids any more than it’s ok to keep shuffling a person who’s struggling from block to block week to week.
Let’s see the merc back some group in a neighborhood that creates a plan that is satisfactory to both sides. If you can’t do that then you’re just another ineffective whiney liberal. We got plenty of those. Get something done. Progress is progressive.
“Is Portland Over?” is a completely valid question. Who made your opinion king? Who are you to make such an unyielding accusation that it isn’t a valid question? Too many “far-from-center” citizens in this city tolerate vandalism and looting to their fellow citizens, simply because the vocal minority feels that it’s justified in their subjective view. And why are so many citizens ok with letting squatter camps and drugs run wild on the streets, ditches, and neighborhoods? This city no longer has any sense of itself because it’s in such a rush to embrace anything counter cultural. If you keep on rejecting anything mainstream or traditional, pretty soon you’ll end up just wanting to watch the world burn. I’m all for change in areas we can do better, but you have to do it with respect. That’s lacking in portland right now. The far left makes demands, the far right threatens action against.
Those of us who grew up loving our country, believing in what it stands for even though it has its faults – there is less and less tolerance for people like us who believe America still has many aspects of its history that were honorable and worth preserving. The push to cancel culture in Portland is part of the cancer that is causing the divide in the city that might actually answer the question “is portland over” with a “yes”.
When did snark replace intelligent counterpoint and rational arguments? This article is a missed opportunity to logically refute mis-statements by KOIN, as well as deliver other perspectives, as pointed out by several other commenters. Portland Mercury News – stop being intellectually lazy. Or just admit you write for entertainment (rather thin on that score) instead of enlightenment. You’re no better at real journalism than KOIN.
Ugh. why are all these Republican jagoffs commenting on the Mercury?? Go back to Stormfront, you ignorant trash.
On issues of Portland anti-police protests/riots and policing issues in general, some people might enjoy a couple interviews I did on this topic:
Interview with a militant BLM/antifa Portland protester: https://www.readingpokertells.video/blog/understanding-violent-protester-behavior-an-interview-with-a-portland-antifa/
Interview with a retired police captain about policing issues (maybe interest to some, he’s politically liberal): https://www.readingpokertells.video/blog/understanding-the-behavior-of-police-who-use-excessive-force-with-retired-police-captain-james-mitchell/
I hate cops too, but your defense of the vandals was weak.
Yes, it was hyperbolic journalism but they pointed-out legit issues.
We need camps for people as well as RV’s and cars, but ya gotta me ’em go there and not just be anyplace (which is no good for anyone involved)
“anyone who has lived in this city for any amount of time has seen it decay into a literal dumpster fire”
Actually, some of us remember the meth pandemic of the 90’s and early 00’s (and heroin before that) and I gotta say this has a warm fuzzy familiarity about it. Some of us prefer our shitty little industrial town covered in moss and humanity, not plastic and tech bros. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like to see humans suffering on the street, but we used to wear flannel for layering, not fashion.
Not saying things were better or worse back then, just sorta the same ol’ same ol’. Calm down
@13 I’ve been wondering the same for months, and I think the answer is that they got rid of the comments section on Oregonlive and the trash just sorta migrated here, just like in real life! You think it would make them more empathetic to the homeless crisis! But no.
This article is a joke. I’ve lived here basically all my life and I’ve never been embarrassed by it before the last year. Anyone acting like trash isn’t a problem must live in the freshly gentrified areas and don’t venture outside them, the rest of the city is an absolute mess. I actually used to be involved in many community public trash pickups and clean ups, those stopped last year for the most part, and so did municipal clean ups. You’d have to be literally delusional or insanely insulated in more affluent areas to not see the trash issue.
And the tents… It’s not there’s juts a few tents, stop trying to minimize it. Many side streets have become campgrounds. And that’s actually what the in laws said last time they came down here, after telling me on FB so often that it can’t be that bad my MIL finally admitted “driving down I5 after dusk there were so many tents and campfires it really did feel like a campground”… Most areas where there could be a tent there is a tent or the refuse left from a tent being there recently. I spent a fair amount of time traveling to east coast cities in the 90s for business and suddenly our city looks just as bad as those cities did at their worst. I think Pittsburgh and Philadelphia actually look better right now then Portland, which is sad considering we’re small relative to such cities and our problems should be proportionately manageable.
Just a thought, but maybe this “pessimism” is fanned when people can clearly see these problems indeed exist yet folks like you constantly minimize them and attempt to excuse them away? Hard to not get pessimistic about it all when so many people won’t even admit there’s a problem, would be much easier to be more positive if it didn’t seem like essentially nothing’s going to be done about anything…
Really? This is all you’ve got? Instead of facts and counter arguments you’re coming at it with straight up denial? It doesn’t make you a republican to admit that this place looks way shabbier than it did even a year ago. There are more tents, there is more graffiti, there is more trash. Those are simply the sad facts of our current crisis upon a crisis. Instead you’re all like “I looked under my bed and didn’t see any trash, therefore KOIN is full of shit”. Downtown is hollowed out, which sucks, even if aren’t an evil capitalist business owner. You don’t need to be a Fox viewer to see that MLK is boarded up for blocks and blocks. Even if you’re driving a Prius you can see the exponential explosion of tents, tags, and garbage lining most of our major roads. Average Portlanders who live in average houses in average neighborhoods are being deeply impacted, not the bourgeois California tech bro transplants that are the favorite bogeymen of the Mercury. And don’t even start with how much shittier it was in the 80’s, you didn’t live here then and neither did most of the people pining for the good ole’ heroin days. You wanted so badly to hate the KOIN hit-piece that your knee jerked up high enough to give you a black eye. How about this? How about you try and help clean up this mess instead of fanning the flames with this “Nuh uh, no it isn’t, la la la la la, everything is fine” BS you’re passing off as journalism. You have a giant soap box, use it for something better. The first step is admitting there is a problem.
The premise of the KOIN TV piece deserves ridicule. It’s absurd and they obviously miss Trump not selling ads for them. However, I do think Portland has an issue that is far beyond the scope, depth and scale for this incompetent city council and mayor to address. Like who wants entire gangs of bums living outside your $400,000 home with $5,000/yr property taxes while your kids was thru needles to go to their 1/10 elementary school. This is the literal reality in many areas of Portland when it a) didn’t used to be like this and b) doesn’t need to be like this. Other cities deal with it so much better. Cross the Columbia into Washington and magically there’s no garbage or tents lining the freeway…weird huh!?!?