The dreaded Northwest earthquake of despair just hit the Oregon coast! According to USGS, it happened here around 3:41 pm with a earth-shattering 5.9 magnitude. As you can see, all of the bridges have collapsed and the city is on fire.

Except not really. It looks like the only town that may have felt something is Bandon. Maybe very Northern California (I just called my mom back home on the NorCal coast and she is alive—also didn't feel a thing). No tsunami warning, no big deal.

Steve, who's quarantined himself at home for the day, made sure I checked in on his creepy office mannequins to see if they were affected. To the offices' content (but not Steve's) they remain dead.

Stay tuned. This could be a precursor to massive destruction. Or a rise of the faceless mannequin race that has been patiently waiting for its revenge ever since Nordstroms happened.