We received a bunch of responses to last week’s feature about a magnitude 9.0 earthquake destroying Portland. Some people told us they loved it. Others said the story was traumatizing. Still others said our story wasn’t catastrophic enough. (I know. I know. I didn’t mention the dams. But damn it! Weren’t things bad enough already?) So what was my favorite comment? It was this email, sent by Portland State University student Joel Eisenhower:
Subject: The First Four Minutes: what a buzzkill!
Way to go and spoil our hipster mecca, Merc! Geez, you guys are bigger assholes than I thought. Then again, your article does point out some pretty gaping holes in our infrastructure. If even half of your doomsday scenario is accurate, it seems like we should be doing a lot more as a city to upgrade our bridges and build redundancy systems for critical services and resources. Now every time I drive over the Fremont Bridge I’m going to be picturing my Honda Civic doing a gnarly swandive into the abyss [sigh]. I really used to like that bridge. Thanks a lot you apocalyptic shitheads.
From one asshole to another, you’re welcome.
Was this something you guys published? Sorry. I typically don’t read anything that doesn’t have an obvious dick joke.
I actually kind of wanted advice on, you know, how to not die horribly in that kind of quake. I know space is limited in publication, but it seems sensational to give such a dire warning without providing any realistic counsel on riding it out if we don’t all luck into taking a nice May stroll in Waterfront Park when the Big One hits. I mean, do I stand in doorways? Only in older buildings, or newer ones too? What if I don’t have a sturdy desk or table to duck under? Run outside?
(I guess I should note that I don’t have the print copy right in front of me, so if I missed it in there, apologies. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF CONCERNS. Will I be wearing pants when the Big One hits? What should I do if I’m not wearing pants?!)
I purposefully did not read this article because I am so fucking freaked out by the fact that this will happen probably while I am alive and living here. I have just been staring at the cover contemplating reading, but ultimately deciding against it because I already have several Big Day scenarios playing in my head on a daily basis (every fucking time I cross a bridge).
I also second every single point Melogna makes, plus, what if it happens when I’m in the shower or if I’m pooping aka no pants?
@ Melogna
Here, let me Google that for you.
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=earthquake+preparedne…
@5, I think I had “city-specific” in there at some point and edited it out along with my hyperventilating rant about how my apartment is probably going to collapse and crush me under my neighbor’s bed.
Me and my disaster kit are doing the best we can, but even a few Portland-specific bullet points on individual response to the quake within the city (e.g., if you’re in Big Pink when it hits, don’t just go running out onto the street because you’ll probably get skewered with falling glass; but if you happen to be in XYZ major buildings, get out ASAP because you gonna die) might have made a nice counterbalance to the doomdoomDOOM.
@ Melogna
Actually, he did mention almost exactly what you’re talking about. For example, here:
“Unsecured eaves, parapets, and other decorative features start falling from buildings. You watch as an overhang cripples a woman huddling underneath it for protection.”
And here:
“All across the city, un-reinforced masonry buildings shed their outer walls onto streets and sidewalks; passersby are badly hurt, some are killed.”
But I get what you’re actually trying to say: You wanted more of what exactly to do while the earthquake is shaking everything down around you, and what supplies you need to weather the aftermath. I specifically told Nathan not to include that information. Why? Because a) sure, he needed the space, but b) there is so much of this information online, and there have been plenty of articles beforehand that have laid out exactly what you should do.
The real question is: Are you going to do it? You probably haven’t before, even after reading the many articles out there about getting prepared. Was this extremely well-researched article designed to scare the shit into your pants, and hopefully inspire you to find and act on that information that’s so readily available? Yep. If that’s “sensationalistic,” yet puts your ass into gear to prepare and therefore saves your life (and me a reader)? I’m okay with that.
Okay. I read the article. Here’s what I got from it:
“Any kind of preparation is useless. Your survival depends purely on luck. Have a great day!”
Appreciate the work, but it definitely doesn’t seem like something that should be thought about too much.
I’m confused as to what, exactly, an “old masonry building” is? Are they those old, brick buildings? Like, all of them? Or just certain ones? I don’t know what “masonry” means! Please help!
Excuse you, Steve, but my disaster kit has prepared me for everything — it has pants in case I’m not wearing pants, shoes in case I’m not wearing shoes, and pudding cups in case I need something to wash down the cans of Hormel chili mac.
But just in case I’m away from my lovingly constructed bug-out kit if anything happens, I was just interested in a few more specific details on the end of the few sentences you listed. Of course, what I probably wanted was some comfort that, as Fruit Cup said, my survival does not depend entirely on luck — and on that end, I may be out of it, so I understand.
Yep, I think we all need to eventually come to the conclusion that we should prepare as best we can—and then forget about it. This article inspired me to finally store away a week’s worth of food, water and other necessary stuff. And guess what? I feel 100 percent better! Now back to living my life… already in progress.