Publicintelligence.net has posted several FBI bulletins to employees in various fields (hobby shops, rental trucking companies, hardware stores) about how to spot suspicious/terrorist-y behavior. But my favorite one is to the tattoo artists of America.
Under the “What Should I Consider Suspicious?” header, the FBI advises:
At the bottom of the bulletin, the FBI reminds us:
Call me crazy, but that disclaimer seems a little insincere, given the rest of the verbiage.
Breathe? Blink? Eat? Sleep? YOU MIGHT BE A TERRORIST.
Um, the last two bullet points there immediately bring to mind Rick Santorum. Should I call someone?
Look, the “chemical burns” are just from very hot, strong coffee, and the missing fingers are to keep me from flipping off people (it was getting out of hand).
I’m proud to meet all these criteria.