Hello, and welcome to our newest blog, the Portland Dating Dispatch. Dating in Portland, or anywhere for that matter, is a gorgeously terrifying and beautifully weird thing. Sometimes you get much more than you ask for, and other times, much, much less. And on some occasions you get something you never, ever expected! That’s why sharing your dating stories with others of your kind is so important… by realizing that we’re all in the same dating boat, it makes the disappointments that much easier to take. And give us hope for the future! So don’t be ashamed—just share your story. And to make it easier, it will be completely anonymous. Even the Mercury won’t know your name!
That being said, while Portland Dating Dispatch is mostly for fun, there are a few rules we’d like you follow when submitting your story:
• NEVER USE REAL NAMES. Yours or anyone else involved. That goes for businesses, too.
• NO HATE TALK ALLOWED. What’s “hate talk”? That’s for us to decide. (Sorry, but it’s our party, and we only invite decent human beings.) But more specifically, if your submission denigrates women, sexualities, people of color, or the downtrodden, your submission will be rejected. (Yep, even if it’s just a little bit.)
• YOUR SUBMISSION CAN’T GO OVER 300 WORDS. We don’t have all day.
• NO GIBBERISH. Put a little effort into what you write. It doesn’t have to be Dostoyevsky, or have perfect grammar, but make it readable. One or two sentence confessions will be rejected unless they’re super funny.
• NO BUTTHOLE COMMENTERS. Butthole commenters—people who troll, use overly foul language, purposefully start fights, go off topic, or threaten—are not allowed. If you see such a comment, hit the report button and, if it falls into the above category (not just something you disagree with), we’ll delete it as soon as possible.
If your story is accepted for submission, we’ll post it ASAP. (Be patient, especially if you’re writing at two in the morning.)
THAT’S IT! Easy enough, right? You know you’ve got a great dating story (one that went good, bad, or very weird) so share it with all of us right here at the Portland Dating Dispatch!