Portland Dating Dispatch

So when you invited me for a picnic at the beach, I thought we would have some delish delights to eat, but you pulled into the 7-11 and got some Broasted chicken you said we should eat right there in the parking lot, then we could go to the beach…no second date for you.

When you kept going to the bathroom every 10-15 minutes, I knew something was up. We didn’t meet online, which is rare nowadays, but we did meet out and about and decided to get a drink. You were a bit on the trashy side, but I’ve always been a little attracted to trashy. On your […]

I met this really cute girl at a bar during a metal show. We hit it off and she gives me her number so we can set up a date. We make plans for for the following weekend. The night of the date I come by her place, planning to take a cab to a […]

I wish I could tell you that my knack for taking women on horrible dates is some sort of sado-masochistic fetish, but sadly it’s primarily just a combination of poor taste and poor planning. I’ve been wooing a lady (we’ll call her Kierz, which is *definitely* a fake name) and I wish I could say […]

I’m a early 30’s punk femme lesbian on the prowl. I have showered myself on being a slut on online dating. It’s something I embrace. So in my experience I have had dates that were lack luster and dates that has charged my spirit. I know we all want to talk shit and express the […]

A second date was off to a lovely start until after dinner. My date got up from the table, sat on the same side of the table as me, leaned in to kiss me and instead bit my lip very hard. This hurt and was a huge turn off. Being polite and interested in finishing […]

I found a number in my phone under “Robot.” I thought it was Smarterchild2.0, but I internet-creeped and discovered it belonged to a girl. I messaged her. Seemed questionable, but she looked good. We met up at some bar in deep SE where her friends “just happened” to be. Within minutes, the conversation turned to […]

Went on a couple dates with a guy and we seemed to hit it off. We hooked up, which was ok I guess, and then he invited me to go to the river with his friends the next day.So I show up at the river, and he basically ignored me the whole time. He was […]

She gave me two dollars and a pack of gum—a thank you for the ride home. I returned the gum. (I don’t like wintergreen.) Two weeks later, I realized she’d wanted to kiss me.

I met this nice girl on a dating sight, we met for a drink, whiskey was the preferred spirit.After spending $100 she said the next date she would cook me dinner at her house i agreedThe next Saturday I got flowers and a bottle of wine and went to get dinner and hopefully some sex.On […]