Portland Dating Dispatch

The last guy I went out with from OKCupid was great. Attractive, funny, educated, we connected. But since we went out, he’s asked me and actually flat out told me, that I’m not interested in him. That was four days ago. I’m guess because I wasn’t that communicative via text. I don’t know but enough. […]

I have noticed that they guys in this town don’t know how to make decisions. I’ve been here over 10 years and still haven’t met anyone a guy who flat out asks me out. I have no problem asking a guy out but please make it a two way street if you are interested. Or […]

I am sorry. I am a liar…I am not a professional wig tester. Though I am sure that this is a real profession, sadly I was just bored on our “date” and decided to spice things up! No I do have an eccentric cliental of celebrities and drag queens that I test for. No I […]

Never so frequently have I heard the words “I’m clean” and “I hate condoms” used in the same sentence as I have in Portland. It’s like you people don’t care if your genitals get infected and just rot the fuck off! Maybe I’m old fashioned for asking ‘boring’ questions like “when was the last time […]

If your boyfriend is a broke loser and can’t buy you dinner, don’t pretend like you don’t have one until you casually decide to tell me a week later after dodging plans for another date. I get it, you two are “getting more serious.” Maybe if you’re lucky he’ll propose with an onion ring from […]

I went on a perfectly enjoyable date last night. With a guy who was interesting, employed, and cute. I actually felt more attracted to him (rather than repulsed by him) at the end of the date. We are going to see either again this weekend. Maybe there is hope after all.

The first warning sign is when he asked me to pay for my $2 soda. I don’t expect for men to pay my way on a date but if you ask me to pay $2 for my drink while you are settling your $20 tab you are a cheapskate. I decided to stick around to […]

This fucker. So bad at it. Small dick, and poor usage. He must have actually believed the ol’ frat-boy patter about “beating it up,” because he wanted to withdraw his dagger ALL THE WAY on each thrust, and then jab it back in at whatever crooked angle, so it hooked and yanked at my lips […]