Portland Dating Dispatch

I’M AN EARLY 30s punk femme lesbian on the prowl. I’ve had dates that were lackluster and dates that have charged my spirit. I know we all want to talk shit and express the bad, but this one is golden. I met her via Tinder, and she insisted that we meet at the Yamhill Pub. (If any of you don’t know, the Yamhill is the sleaziest punk-rock dive that you can imagine. My heart was ecstatic that she was a dirty soul at heart.) When I arrived, her boots were placed on the opposite chair with so much confidence. She proceeded to buy me a cheap beer and we talked. Afterward, I took her to an old gothic-style church and we broke in. We drank some cheap beers, talked about our lives, and then suddenly I pressed her against the wall of the church and we kissed and then fucked on the stairs of the church. I just remember screaming, “Oh jesus.” If you’re reading this, best date ever.—Anonymous