chewieoregonlive.jpeg
  • Why yes, I am awesome at photoshop. Original art via.

We don’t spend a whole lot of time on OregonLive.com around these parts, but thankfully, Kevin Collier’s great “Get to Know an Internet Commenter” column at McSweeney’s has alerted us to something magical happening over there: commenter “wookieloving” weighing in on all sorts of important issues.

On “Boy Scouts Argue Perversion Files Should Be Secret”:
If their personnel files include information about sexual abuse against children, absolutely. You underestimate the power of the dark side!

On “Oregon House Makes History By Electing Two Co-Speakers”:
They do kind of look like Darth Vader and the Emperor when they stand like that, don’t they. Very interesting, it is.

On “Spoiled Ground Beef Sold to Institutions in Oregon, California Recalled”:
How you get so big, eating food of this kind?

On “In Eugene, Excitement Followed by Resignation as Auburn Rolls to Win”:
I suggest a new strategy, Ducks. Let the wookiee win.

Step it up, Blogtownies*! These Star Wars references aren’t going to make themselves! (Also, whoever can track down “wookieloving” and get him to start commenting here rather than on OregonLive? Yeah. If you can pull that off, you win this.)

Thanks to Andrew R Tonry for the heads up!

*I hate this term, by the way. Do you guys even like it?

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! HOLY FUCKING SHIT, “wookieeloving” is here! BUT NOTE THE DOUBLE “E.” IS THIS THE SAME NERD? SOME SAY “NO!” How can we tell?!?! REGARDLESS, I FEEL LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW

UPDATE AGAIN! UPDATE AGAIN! UPDATE AGAIN! Sweet motherfucking jesus, I just received an email from Rachel Seymour, the woman behind OregonLive.com’s “wookieloving”! She’s been posting on Blogtown as “wookieeloving,” however, because… well, here:

I was Wookieloving as a bet to see how long I could stay the top commentator on Oregonlive. I guess the only way to prove it is to give you the password for the account. No one else would know that. Go to Oregonlive and log in as [REDACTED], password: [REDACTED].

I am currently commenting on your article as wookieeloving, because my name was stolen. Thanks for the press – made my day! I’ve never laughed quite so hard at my own antics!

Have a great day.

Sincerely,
Rachel Seymour, aka Wookieloving

I checked it out, and it seems legit—meaning that yes, here on Blogtown, the real “wookieloving” is “wookieeloving,” AKA Rachel Seymour. Let the record show that this Blogtown impostor—this “wookieloving,” whoever the fuck they are—is a COWARD, a LIAR, and a CHARLATAN.

And goddamn, I love that this whole “wookieloving” thing came about because of a bet. I would also like to propose marriage to Rachel Seymour—an international hero who has, indeed, made my day great. Rachel, that “Wookiee Warrior” action figure I mentioned earlier is all yours. I’d say you’ve earned it.

With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.

46 replies on “Hey Blogtownies, OregonLive.com Commenter “wookieloving” Puts All of You to Shame. (NOW UPDATED!) ((SWEET MOTHERFUCKING JESUS, UPDATED AGAIN!!!))”

  1. Nah, I don’t want him moving from OregonLive to here. Anything to dilute out the racism, vitriol, and stupidity on OL is appreciated.

    I think we should start some kind of “adopt a column” program to get non-crazies commenting on their local newspaper websites.

  2. I prefer Blogtowners. Townies is indicative of the natives of a college town who work blue collar jobs as janitors at fancy math schools and how about them apples, etc…

  3. I’ve never liked “blogtownies.”

    I would prefer:

    Niggling Crank Patrol

    Incredulous Spittle Providers

    Buttholes with Mouthholes

    Grammar Nazis

    Sound and Furies

    Masters of the Useless Yak

    Disagreeables

    Wookies

  6. “Blogtownies” is boring. I suggest we break into several cliques or social activity groups ala THE WARRIORS. There can be the “Blogtownarounadowners,” made up of the cynical snarkers (I’d probably have to be in that group); the “Blogtownareenies” (young, look good in skimpy clothing, probably, if we could figure out who they really are, and we’re trying); the “Blogtownawhothehellies” (people who post once and never again, or less than once a month anyway); and last as well as least the “Spandex” (Spindles/Andy from Beaverton Conservative/Libertarian Complex).

  14. Graham, um… can you read or do you not know what es look like? Just checking. I’m pretty sure this isn’t serious… sad trombone. Actually, I know that for a fact.

    Fuck yeah, WookieLoving!!! We knew you could do it!!!

  17. Blogtrons

    Motherfuckin’ Charlie Blogtownson

    Blo’ Town Records

    Kiala’s Blogtown Irregulars

    Blogtown Slim and his Blogtown Ramblers

  25. lol! sad but true… wookieloving was silenced and blocked on oregonlive… so much for freedom of speech from the oregonian 🙁

  27. by the way… whoever stole wookieloving name and is posting on here is a fake. (i am friends with the real one). shame on you for impersonating.

  29. Hey Equalrights4Ewoks! If what you’re saying is true, then get the real Wookieloving to jump on here, and let’s have a Wookie Off!

  30. I’m the real wookieloving – just had to add the extra e because some jerk stole my name (and picture, creepy – that picture is of an actual cardboard Chewbacca in my garage – so get out of my garage a-hole!)

    Impersonators should be fed to the Rancor!

  35. @wookieeloving (with two e’s) is a fake

    I, the real wookieloving (with 1 e), am an avid star wars fan! My favourite star wars movie is wrath of khan and I own an original luke starwalker action figure in its original packaging

    live long and prosper blogwoks (that blogtown + eewok (with two e’s))

  43. fake wookie go away… quit trolling for attention. nobody cares about you. nobody likes you and nobody loves you. the more you post the more you show what a douche bag you are. We’ve already proven who the real wookiee is and the real wookiee is loved by all. all you can do is suck a fart outta my furry Ewok ass… and believe me, ewok farts are pretty foul… the dark side has nothing on me!

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