“Linda Blair Connected to Shocking Pig Attack”

Rivaling the disappointment level of news coming out of Massachussets (and your accents suck too, BTW) is the news of a dog at Linda “insert Exorcist joke here” Blair’s animal shelter, the WorldHeart Foundation, who escaped only to attack a neighbor’s miniature pot bellied pig named Gerty, as reported by TMZ under the above headline. Sadder still, the dog was shot five times by the pig’s owner before loosening its “death grip,” and eventually dying. Does anyone have any good news this morning?

Poor Gerty. They could have at least scraped the hay off her face before her closeup.