Apparently televangelist Pat Robertson is eating an entire case of sour grapes this week because NYC gave the "gay okay" to same sex marriages. HOWEVER! I must admit I learned A LOT about gay abomination from this old man's illogical rant. For example, I did not know that...

1) Gays are angel rapers! (I'm with him on this one... not cool, gays! NOT... COOL.)
2) There has never... in the history of the universe... EVER... been a nation that embraced homosexuality and gay angel rapers like the USA! (Ahem.) USA! USA! USA! (GAY ANGEL RAPERS!) USA!!
3) Homosexuality is "bad." Child "rearing" is "good"! (Oh yeah? Well, it's not so good when they—THIS JOKE HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED BECAUSE OF POSSIBLE LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS.)
4) God will choose to either destroy or not destroy America based solely on how nice we've been to him. So is it gonna kill you to kiss a little ass? PUCKER UP, AMERICA! IT MIGHT SAVE OUR LIVES!