So I’m here in my new office, and people keep coming by asking me why I haven’t unpacked anything, or dressed my child mannequins yet…

IMG_1397.JPG

Ummm… because of THIS, dingalings!

Screen_shot_2011-05-16_at_2.04.42_PM.png

Judgment Day is set to go down THIS SATURDAY at 3 pm pacific, and it’s GUARANTEED (at least according to the Bible, and the Family Radio Worldwide website). And as the owner of two naked child mannequins, everybody should already know I REFUSE TO BE JUDGED. So whether I’m going to be whisked directly to hell, or cool my heels until the annihilation of the world (scheduled for October 11), why should I bother unpacking my crap? In fact, I’m pretty hard pressed to do anything, including any further writing on this blog post. So let’s just say screw it, do a poll, and be done with it.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

11 replies on “The End is Nigh… Which Means “Saturday,” Guys!”

  1. It’s unfair of Jesus to end the world just so the Republicans don’t have to field a candidate against President Obama.

  2. I want to find one of these wackos and bet them one billion dollars that the world will not end on Saturday. Or maybe just $50. They’d seem more inclined to make a $50 bet.

  3. Too bad the Rapture is a complete load of bullshit that isn’t even in the Bible. It wasn’t even something certain Christians taught until John Nelson Darby started preaching about it in the 1830’s.

  5. I am going to the mountain Saturday and sacrificing the idol so the world will not end for another 5 billion years. You can pay me in you extra drink tickets next time you see me.

  6. Rosy, am with you. I already had stolen 15 animals from my street to bring em to the top of the mountain so God will have some mercy on us and leave us on Earth.

  11. I’m ready to burn eternally in hellfire, or to not burn eternally in hellfire. Also, I’m ready for some new episodes of “Il Commissario Montalbano.”

Comments are closed.